Liking my calendar less . . .

This is not another blog about the fact that Christmas is almost here and I am still ill prepared. Instead, I am blogging about my day calendar. Previously enjoyed a lot. . . less so now. Today's offering:

"I am the modern, intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who cannot get a man." - Shelley Winters

Enough said.

More English than I thought

Surnames aside, I have always considered myself to be completely American. Yes, with names like Baxter, Bennett and Barrett, my ancestors were Anglo-Saxons, but quite honestly "came over" so long again - I don't think it counts. I have always been somewhat envious of my first and second generation friends. They sometimes complain about the difficulties of straddling two cultures, but they have a tangible tie with their past. My relatives on the other hand were most likely sent to the "New World" as prisoners in Georgia's penal colony for debtors. I can't honestly say that a lot of the "old ways" have been passed down to me. (Except of course my knack for spending lots of money.)

Or so I thought. I have come to realize over the years that a lot of the "colloquialisms" that I heard growing up are actually British in nature. I actually grew up hearing things such as the boot and bonnet of the car, spot of something to eat, and we actually spoke of fortnights. I am not sure how random phrases made it through the Americanization of my relatives English, but they did. (If only a little less of the Appalachian hills accent could have penetrated.) I have always been an Anglophile when it comes to literature - maybe it is the language that attracts me most.

As I write this, I am enjoying a cup of tea between cases. Although I drink coffee, sometimes by the vats full, I prefer a nice cup of English Breakfast tea to relax. I have also come to realise that my temperament is very English. I am more aware of that here in Philadelphia where there is such a large Italian population. No offense to any of my Italian ancestored friends, but that much emotion must be exhausting. I am not sure I exactly qualify for the "stiff upper lip", but I do tend to keep my emotions pretty tight. I consider myself to be a fairly good listener, but I struggle talking about my problems to a lot of other people (sorry Kris - you lost out here as the one person that has to hear everything).

I am not sure why this is important to me, but maybe I am growing nostalgic as I age or something. I just think it is nice to have some ties - however small - with those ancestors who came before you.

OMG!!!

Christmas is 8 days away! When did this happen? I haven't finished shopping. I am NOT a last minute shopper. I have not finished shopping for gifts that have to be MAILED. Seriously stressing. I have not addressed the first Christmas card. Last year I did them in October. At this point, they may be Valentine's cards. When did this holiday season get so away from me? I could always blame my job, but I have had the same job for ten years and have never been this far behind.

It also wouldn't kill me to finish cleaning my apartment. My parents are coming next Friday, and my apartment is so NOT in parent viewing readiness. It isn't horrible, but one would guess that I had never been introduced to the concept of a dust or mop. My mom happens to know better.

I would continue freaking out on this blog, but quite frankly I don't have time. I need to get ready for Christmas.

When will I learn?

For a supposedly intelligent girl, I am incredibly stupid sometimes. Take yesterday for example. I just had to tempt fate. I couldn't take a rare slow call day for what it was. I had to complain about it being slow. Well, fate taught me. From 7 pm until this morning, I intubated two patients, coded one and took a ruptured thoracoabdominal aneurysm to the operating room. I am sure I did other things, but those are the ones I can still remember.

I came home took a nap, and then spent the rest of the day cleaning my apartment. Wow, what an exciting life I lead. Oh well, I am going to cap off my wonderful day by going to bed now.

Mazal tov to my friend Jessica on the birth of her beautiful baby boy. I am glad that everything went so well, and I can't wait to see him.

Call Day Blues

Call can be a funny thing. As much as I complain about the fact that I am almost always ridiculously busy on call, it is much better than the alternative. Slow calls are the WORST. It is not just the sitting around doing nothing, although that is pretty bad. Slow call days can be depressing.

I mean seriously depressing. I spend most of my life pretty busy. It does not leave a lot of time for self-reflection. On slow call days, you find too much time to think. . . or at least I seem to. To be honest, I think it is less about self-reflection and more about self-pity. I recognize most of the time that I have a pretty great life. I have a job that I enjoy, family that care for me, and great friends. However, on slow call days - all the things that are not perfect in life seem magnified.

Obviously for me, this is one of those slow call days. (Luckily, they are the exception and not the rule for me.) I have basically done nothing but read while waiting on something to happen. I can never get a lot done on call because I hate to be in the beginning of a project and get called away. At least maybe I will get enough sleep today that I can actually accomplish things tomorrow. In the mean time, I will take this rare slow call opportunity and feel sorry for myself. No worries, it is usually short lived and I should be back to normal tomorrow.

Fit not for man nor beast

Just leaving the hospital. Late of course because I had plans. One would think that I would learn not to make plans since it always seems to jinx me - sorry Jill, I'll try tomorrow. I walked outside of the hospital to dark, cold, windy and pouring down rain. I came very close to walking back inside. Nothing should be outside in this weather. It is cruel and unusual punishment.

It is almost comical to me that I have spent much of the last month complaining about how slow things are here. It is only now that I have other things I would like to work on that work gets out of control. How does the schedule know. It is uncanny. Oh well, Christmas cards may arrive for Valentine's day this year. Hope weather is better wherever you are.

Maybe they are on to something

So as some of you have read and others have experienced, people in medical training now have limits on how many hours they can work a week. The limits have been met with mixed reviews. We all know how much I love being told what to do. For the most part, I have thought they were silly, and besides a little part of me recognizes that I need to be able to function post call.

I was on call last night. I had for me a typical call. Very busy for most of the night with 2 cases and about 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I came home around 9 am this morning. I needed to run several errands, so I took a "quick" nap and headed back out around 1 pm. Grocery store, Target, Mall and oil change were on my agenda. I started at Target. I spent 30 minutes wandering the store picking up the couple items that I needed. I lacked motivation to move quickly. When I got up to pay, it occurred to me that I had left my house and gone shopping with nothing but my car keys. . . no license, no money, no credit card. After a return trip home, I only made it to the grocery store and target today. I decided I am not safe for more than that today. Maybe the powers that be are on to something. Patient care probably not within the realm of my capability today.