Given the amount of black worn in this city one would have thought I got confused and accidentally moved to New York City. All I can say is enough already. Why is it that people think head to toe black 24/7 is a good look? No wonder everyone is grumpy here - they have NO color in their life.
I have been aware of the fondness for black for a while, but it seems to be intensifying. Shouldn't spring bring color? I walked downtown this morning and I kid not - I saw exactly 3 people not in black. I live in the City - I saw a lot of people this morning. People even dress their kids in black here.
Well, I have caved on a lot here, but I stand firm on this. Most importantly, I don't look good in black. It is just not my color. I don't know if it is that I am too pink or my hair too fair, but it looks harsh on me. I will take navy or brown any day of the week. Maybe everyone else here had my problem with weight gain in this city and this is their way of coping. I'll take Michelle, my nutritionist, any day of the week over such a depressing wardrobe.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Not that I am counting
Not that I am counting, but I have 103 days left in my training. Really not counting the 3,550 days of training that I have already completed. I have 13 days of call remaining not including the 14 hrs and 3 minutes that I have left on the call that I am currently suffering through. Two days before spring is "officially" here, not that Philly seems to care. We won't even discuss the infinity of time that I seem to have left before I find a job.
Obviously, I have too much time on my hands today. As mentioned, I am on call. We all know how much I love call, but for some reason today is even more INCREDIBLY, EXCRUCIATINGLY, ASTOUNDINGLY painful. My ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder for any living under a rock) is at an all time high. I actually know 1 year old children with greater attention spans than mine. I can't concentrate on anything. Today alone, I have tried to study, tried to write a paper, tried to teach the medical students, tried to read a journal article, tried to read a newspaper article, and tried to listen attentively to my junior fellow's marital troubles - the only success I have had so far is to go completely out of my mind.
At least I am off this weekend, although I am not sure what I am going to do with myself. The way I see it I have two options. I can medicate myself into a deep coma and sleep the entire weekend, or find something to do that requires so much concentration to stay safe that I can actually distract myself from the thoughts swirling in my mind. I'll keep you posted.
Obviously, I have too much time on my hands today. As mentioned, I am on call. We all know how much I love call, but for some reason today is even more INCREDIBLY, EXCRUCIATINGLY, ASTOUNDINGLY painful. My ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder for any living under a rock) is at an all time high. I actually know 1 year old children with greater attention spans than mine. I can't concentrate on anything. Today alone, I have tried to study, tried to write a paper, tried to teach the medical students, tried to read a journal article, tried to read a newspaper article, and tried to listen attentively to my junior fellow's marital troubles - the only success I have had so far is to go completely out of my mind.
At least I am off this weekend, although I am not sure what I am going to do with myself. The way I see it I have two options. I can medicate myself into a deep coma and sleep the entire weekend, or find something to do that requires so much concentration to stay safe that I can actually distract myself from the thoughts swirling in my mind. I'll keep you posted.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Spring where are you?
Okay - mother nature has had her laugh. I survived a winter in Philadelphia. Something I might point out I have no desire to ever experience again. Therefore, I deserve my reward. SPRING. It doesn't have to be 80 and sunny. I would take 60's at this point. We reached a grand high today of 43F. Come on - it's mid march. It is time for this joke to be over. Don't even get me started on the wind. I know March is supposed to be windy, but this windy?
I don't even have promises of spring. No tree buds, no green grass, and not a daffodil in sight. Who would have ever thought I would think of 99F and 90% humidity as the good old days.
I don't even have promises of spring. No tree buds, no green grass, and not a daffodil in sight. Who would have ever thought I would think of 99F and 90% humidity as the good old days.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Bangs @!@#$
Any woman who has ever had bangs and decided to grow them out understands the above title. If you haven't today's post if probably not for you. I "tried" bangs for the first time about 5 years ago. I started slowly with long tapered bangs. I liked and decided to progress to full single length bangs when I moved here to Philly.
I really like them at first. I would probably like them better if I had less fine hair, but after 35 years I have almost made peace with my hair's texture. Of course, I can never make my hair look as good as it does the day I leave the hair salon. I think it is multi factorial, but mainly related to the time or lack there of that I am willing to invest in fixing my hair. I particularly like the fact that it hides my ginormous forehead and the large wrinkle I have developed there.
Why them would I decide to grow them out? Two words - OR hat. I spend most of my day with my hair pulled back and up in an OR hat. I actually have several cloth printed hats that I wear in the operating room (no surprise here that I found a way to shop for OR clothes.) Because I have fine hair, I have to wear a fairly tight hat to keep my hair out of sight. If I wear a loose bouffant hat, my hair slides out the sides. I challenge anyone with bangs to put on a very tight hat and wear it for 10-12 hours. Let me know how your bangs look when you pull it off. I have tried everything to keep them from coming out in 47 directions, but nothing works well.
Thus, I am growing my bangs out yet again. Most frustratingly, I had JUST grown out my bangs. If you are to scared to get your hair cut for 3 months, bangs tend to grow out. When I finally caved in and got a new cut, I was talked into bangs again. I am currently at the incredibly irritating part where they are way too long to be bangs and way too short to be side swept. I fix it most days by wearing a hat. Too bad that won't work for my interview. I doubt the all men that I am interviewing with will understand about growing out bangs. I just have to assume that they are men and probably won't notice.
I really like them at first. I would probably like them better if I had less fine hair, but after 35 years I have almost made peace with my hair's texture. Of course, I can never make my hair look as good as it does the day I leave the hair salon. I think it is multi factorial, but mainly related to the time or lack there of that I am willing to invest in fixing my hair. I particularly like the fact that it hides my ginormous forehead and the large wrinkle I have developed there.
Why them would I decide to grow them out? Two words - OR hat. I spend most of my day with my hair pulled back and up in an OR hat. I actually have several cloth printed hats that I wear in the operating room (no surprise here that I found a way to shop for OR clothes.) Because I have fine hair, I have to wear a fairly tight hat to keep my hair out of sight. If I wear a loose bouffant hat, my hair slides out the sides. I challenge anyone with bangs to put on a very tight hat and wear it for 10-12 hours. Let me know how your bangs look when you pull it off. I have tried everything to keep them from coming out in 47 directions, but nothing works well.
Thus, I am growing my bangs out yet again. Most frustratingly, I had JUST grown out my bangs. If you are to scared to get your hair cut for 3 months, bangs tend to grow out. When I finally caved in and got a new cut, I was talked into bangs again. I am currently at the incredibly irritating part where they are way too long to be bangs and way too short to be side swept. I fix it most days by wearing a hat. Too bad that won't work for my interview. I doubt the all men that I am interviewing with will understand about growing out bangs. I just have to assume that they are men and probably won't notice.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Philly weight
No secret to anyone that has seen me the last 8 months, but Philly was not good for my waist line. I am only now willing to admit it (since I've fixed it), but I gained 25 lbs when I moved to Philly. Not good. At 5'2", I show 5 lbs up or down - I have absolutely no where to hide 25 lbs.
I am not sure exactly what happened, but I have a few ideas. I of course tried a cheese steak, but didn't love it. My bigger problem was telling myself as long as I didn't eat huge proportions that I could eat whatever I wanted. Therefore, a bagel every day for breakfast, slice of pizza for lunch, etc. etc. I also decided for some reason that the gym in the basement of the building in which I live was not convenient enough so I quit working out. Although I can not lie well to others, I seem to do it very well to myself.
When it got to where none of my clothes fit anymore, I finally started believing the scale. Not only could I not afford to buy new clothes, but I was unhappy with how sluggish I was feeling. I am very happy to report that as of this morning, I am back to my Nashville weight. I say my Nashville weight because I gained 10 lbs when I moved from Augusta to Nashville.
As an aside, moving seems to be a bad idea for my eating habits. I am not sure why, but hopefully I will now find a place to settle for a while. My weight can't afford all the ups and downs.
No stopping here, my goal is to end my Thoracic training at the same weight I started it. So 3 1/2 months and 10 lbs - got to keep working.
I am not sure exactly what happened, but I have a few ideas. I of course tried a cheese steak, but didn't love it. My bigger problem was telling myself as long as I didn't eat huge proportions that I could eat whatever I wanted. Therefore, a bagel every day for breakfast, slice of pizza for lunch, etc. etc. I also decided for some reason that the gym in the basement of the building in which I live was not convenient enough so I quit working out. Although I can not lie well to others, I seem to do it very well to myself.
When it got to where none of my clothes fit anymore, I finally started believing the scale. Not only could I not afford to buy new clothes, but I was unhappy with how sluggish I was feeling. I am very happy to report that as of this morning, I am back to my Nashville weight. I say my Nashville weight because I gained 10 lbs when I moved from Augusta to Nashville.
As an aside, moving seems to be a bad idea for my eating habits. I am not sure why, but hopefully I will now find a place to settle for a while. My weight can't afford all the ups and downs.
No stopping here, my goal is to end my Thoracic training at the same weight I started it. So 3 1/2 months and 10 lbs - got to keep working.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sprung forward
Check back in next week when I am enjoying light until 8 pm, but as of today - I HATE daylight savings time. Of course, I am on call this weekend so no slow adjusting for me. Even worse, I am in house on call today - no one hour less call for me, just having to be here one hour earlier.
My patients also seem to not be fans. I can't say that I blame them. Who wants a doctor waking them up at what feels (and yesterday was) 5 am just to tell them they are doing well and get to spend another day in the hospital. Let us just say I didn't make fans this morning.
I have spent the rest of the day in the operating room opening a redo sternum and explanting BIVADS. The one good thing about call here - it reminds me each and every time why I am SO HAPPY that I picked thoracic over cardiac. Give me ruptured esophagus at 2 am any day of the week.
At least I am post tomorrow and it is still supposed to be gorgeous. I really need a mani/pedi before the job interview.
My patients also seem to not be fans. I can't say that I blame them. Who wants a doctor waking them up at what feels (and yesterday was) 5 am just to tell them they are doing well and get to spend another day in the hospital. Let us just say I didn't make fans this morning.
I have spent the rest of the day in the operating room opening a redo sternum and explanting BIVADS. The one good thing about call here - it reminds me each and every time why I am SO HAPPY that I picked thoracic over cardiac. Give me ruptured esophagus at 2 am any day of the week.
At least I am post tomorrow and it is still supposed to be gorgeous. I really need a mani/pedi before the job interview.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Following my mother's advice
I have been noticeably absent from my blog for the last couple of weeks. I have a good excuse. I was following my mother's advice. She actually did tell me as a child (on numerous occasions - I was a slow learner) that if you didn't have anything good to say it is best to keep quiet. Therefore, I have kept very quiet for the last few weeks. I have been in a funk, the likes of which I had never been in before, and am only just now emerging.
I would like to point to one single thing as the cause of my recent funk, but in all honesty it is multi factorial. There is of course the job, but I think several other factors not all of which I want to talk about also contributed. A big one has been the weather. It is not just the fact that it has been cold. As a matter of fact, I am quite proud of how well I have handled the cold. I whine about it, but have learned how to layer up and go about my business. I think it has more to do with the length of this winter. I have always claimed that I have seasonal affective disorder, but now I am starting to believe that I really might. Seasonal affective disorder is a recognized condition that causes some people to become depressed in times of less light (i.e. winter). It has something to do with melatonin release the details of which I never bothered to completely understand. It is a recognized illness, and my intent is by no means to make fun. I so get it.
Despite the recent snow storm back home which left my parents powerless for 3 days, spring has been in the air. My dad's biggest complaint about the snow was that his fruit trees were already blooming and he is now certain they will die. Friends and family back home have already started thinking about softball and lawn care. Grass is turning green and flowers are blooming. Sure it is occasionally still cold particularly in the morning, but the weather is turning and you can smell spring.
It has not been that way here. We still had snow banks from the prior snow when this one came through. My car has turned a permanent shade of gray from all the snow and salt. The trees are still very far from leaves and no flowers are blooming. The winter started early and is going forever! I never paid much attention to that weird groundhog until this year. Back home, regardless of shadows, you knew that by the end of February you would start to have some good spring like days. Maybe it is just because he is from here, but the groundhog seems to know what he is talking about here. At least that only means a little over a week left of winter.
Today the weather is actually "nice" by Philly standards. I also have a job interview in Little Rock. Perhaps a combination of these things have lifted my spirits. Regardless of the details, I am happy to be somewhat closer to my chipper self.
I would like to point to one single thing as the cause of my recent funk, but in all honesty it is multi factorial. There is of course the job, but I think several other factors not all of which I want to talk about also contributed. A big one has been the weather. It is not just the fact that it has been cold. As a matter of fact, I am quite proud of how well I have handled the cold. I whine about it, but have learned how to layer up and go about my business. I think it has more to do with the length of this winter. I have always claimed that I have seasonal affective disorder, but now I am starting to believe that I really might. Seasonal affective disorder is a recognized condition that causes some people to become depressed in times of less light (i.e. winter). It has something to do with melatonin release the details of which I never bothered to completely understand. It is a recognized illness, and my intent is by no means to make fun. I so get it.
Despite the recent snow storm back home which left my parents powerless for 3 days, spring has been in the air. My dad's biggest complaint about the snow was that his fruit trees were already blooming and he is now certain they will die. Friends and family back home have already started thinking about softball and lawn care. Grass is turning green and flowers are blooming. Sure it is occasionally still cold particularly in the morning, but the weather is turning and you can smell spring.
It has not been that way here. We still had snow banks from the prior snow when this one came through. My car has turned a permanent shade of gray from all the snow and salt. The trees are still very far from leaves and no flowers are blooming. The winter started early and is going forever! I never paid much attention to that weird groundhog until this year. Back home, regardless of shadows, you knew that by the end of February you would start to have some good spring like days. Maybe it is just because he is from here, but the groundhog seems to know what he is talking about here. At least that only means a little over a week left of winter.
Today the weather is actually "nice" by Philly standards. I also have a job interview in Little Rock. Perhaps a combination of these things have lifted my spirits. Regardless of the details, I am happy to be somewhat closer to my chipper self.
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