A.W.O.L.

I went a little nuts today. It is no surprise to anyone that I have been a little stressed out by this whole lack of a job come July thing. I have been trying the whole brave face thing, but my better demons definitely did not win today. I blame a slow day at work. We only had one case this morning, so my entire day was finished by 9 am. I should have finished a couple of chapters that I am writing, studied for my boards or read the stack of articles on my desk. Instead, I sat down at my desk and freaked out.

I made the mistake of looking at a calendar to see when I was next on call. I then realized that in 3 short days it would be March. In my head, I had plans to be filing for privileges at whatever hospital I had decided to grace with my presence. Instead, I still don't even have a solid lead on a job much less offers. I honestly felt that my head was going to explode.

As a diversion measure, I decided to call and schedule a massage. I had promised myself one as a diet reward. When I went to set a date, I asked when was the next available appointment. I was hoping for an opening this weekend. Imagine my shock when she said they had an unexpected opening today at 12:45. I didn't think twice - I took it.

Then I got really nuts. I left the hospital. I didn't talk to anybody, make sure things were covered, and nothing was going on with patients. I just left. Absent Without Official Leave. I did keep my phone with me, but usually would have put a lot more effort into being available and making sure everyone knew where I was.

It was exactly what I needed. I can actually shrug my shoulders again without a searing pain in my head (I carry my stress between my shoulder blades.) After the massage, I decided to continue the destressing with a little retail therapy. As I am still on a budget, and have no job, I only ended up with two purses on great sales, but I had a very nice time. I looked at two really adorable denim skirts that were very tempting. However, the idea of having to tell Kris that I bought another denim skirt was scarier than their prices so I left them both at the store.

All in all it was a nice break with reality. Now back to the drawing board for the job search.