treading water

I've been taking swimming lessons lately. (Or at least I was until my schedule fell apart.) I have never been a strong swimmer, and wanted to have the option of swimming for exercise in the summer when it is too hot to run. I also would someday like to try a triathlon.

I have learned a lot. It turns out you are actually supposed to breathe under water. (I have been holding my breath all these years.) I have learned the correct arm movements for a crawl, and I have also made my flutter kick more efficient. My backstroke actually looks like swimming now. All in all a good start.

However, when it comes to treading water - I suck. I have never been able to do this well. I move my hands and feet the way I am told, and as soon as I start to sink a little in the water - I panic. I know intellectually that I am just buoying in the water, but as soon as I start to go down some other part of my brain takes over and creates mass chaos.

From where does this fear come? I don't recall any near drowning experiences. . . at least in water. I have had plenty over the years in residency. Perhaps therein lies the answer. All of these years of barely keeping my head above water at work has manifested its way into my swimming.