Supposedly, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Consider this my admission. Defining the problem - now that's a harder issue. (Don't worry no drug or alcohol issues - it hasn't gotten that bad yet.) I started this year with such high hopes and expectations. Sadly only four months into 2013, I have been feeling ready to concede.
Have you ever realized that you were acting completing irrationally or self-destructively, and yet been unable to stop the behavior? Welcome to my world as of late. I have chosen to blame my upcoming 40th birthday, but recognize that a random Saturday in April is not the real culprit. I hate to be trite and trot out some psycho babble about dissatisfaction or recognition of mortality, but something is certainly not right at the moment. What is even less clear to me is how to fix it.
Clearly what I have been doing isn't working. Unless of course you consider 30 lbs, insomnia, severe mood swings and adult onset acne a success story. I don't. At present I can't wear anything in my closet, and am rapidly losing friends from my perpetual grumpy state. Not exactly how I wanted to enter my 40th year.
It wish I could conclude this post with my great plan to "fix it". I don't have a grand plan, but I do know something about myself. I like goals. I need something to work toward - a tangible target. (I'm also hoping that finding something else to fixate upon will distract me from my present mind set.)
Therefore, I'm picking my weight. I am giving myself the next four months to lose 30 lbs, and am going to use this blog as a place for accountability and to chart my progress. As of this morning, I am approximately 30 lbs from a realistic weight for me to maintain. I have fallen into some bad eating habits and have no aerobic capacity at the moment - so this seems like a good place to start. Stay tuned for tomorrow where I will recap Day 1.
Go get 'em, Tam!!
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