Not 15 anymore

Calla decided she wanted to help me with my running. She offered to go running with me early this morning before we started our day. For a teenager to get up early is kind of a big deal. Now, some things you should know about Calla . . . she is on the soccer and lacrosse team, runs track and did I forget to mention she is 15 and may weigh 100 lbs. What I was thinking when I (someone who hasn't ran regularly in 9 months) agreed to go running with her I still don't know.

I do know that she was trying to kill me. We ran for almost an hour, and I mean mostly ran. Every time I told her I needed to walk for a minute she would look at me with these disappointed eyes and tell me I should just slow down my pace and keep moving. We did find a lovely running trail - at least what I saw of it thru my hypoxic haze. I will admit I did feel really great when we finished. Now I am not sure that it was a true runner's high - I think I was mostly happy that I was still alive. It did give me great incentive to keep running. I really need to be in better shape before she comes for another visit.

We had a great visit this weekend. We played the part of tourist yesterday and saw National Constitution Center and Independence Hall. I punished her for the run today by dragging her to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. My quads after an hour of running were not happy with those famous "rocky" steps, but the museum itself is gorgeous. On our way back we stopped by the Rodin and got to see the Thinker. It was a great weekend. Tomorrow I will celebrate Labor Day in the vein of the holiday - I will actually be laboring - I am on call.

DEMS rock!!

Okay - thankfully DNC is over - i can't take anymore of the late nights and feeling like such a slacker. If any of you didn't catch the speech last night, it is worth the Youtube experience (and we know I hate youtube).

Now I have to also find time to end health care shortages in my spare time. Although I am complaining, it is so great to feel inspired and excited about something.

Well, I promised Calla we could have an early night. She thinks I am crazy for getting up before the sun comes up. We are going to catch a movie and are due a sleep in. I'll be honest - haven't ran last three days, but have a hot date with the treadmill in the morning.

Don't forget to VOTE!

Newest Member of our Team

Calla joined me here in Philly yesterday for a weekend of how the boring half live. She went to work with me today (no this is not John's cruel and unusual punishment for some bad deed - though it would be a good one). She got to spend some time in the OR to see what we do there. So of course we made her look the part. . . are we getting a look into her future here?

She of course complained that the scrubs were much cuter and fit better on House and Gray's Anatomy - television is ruining my profession. Just came in from dinner in China-town. We went for Chinese food, but ended up having a little of everything - Japanese, Indian and Chinese. Very tasty - Calla definitely does not like onions though. Tomorrow is a short clinic day so hopefully we can do some Philly exploring afterwards. No running today, but will start back I promise.

Inspired . . . and a little abashed

I watched the Democratic National Convention last night. Just let me say, strong political leanings aside - I was inspired. I would argue - be you a Democrat or a Republican - Michelle Obama's speech makes one proud to be an American. She argued for the value and persistence of the American dream. Being as I am currently also living said dream (my parents couldn't afford college, but yet sent me to medical school), it brought tears to my eyes. Being a democrat, it also made me VERY proud to live in a country that is starting to see past the color of one's skin and slowly breaking thru the glass ceiling. I went online and bought my Obama t-shirt.

However, I also listened to her speech with a growing sense of embarrassment. She spoke eloquently of the "responsibility" of those with privilege to provide for those with need. I listened thinking that I use my "busy" schedule as an excuse to not be more involved. Following the above T-shirt purchase, I went over and offered my services to the Girls Inc of Philadelphia. They emailed me today and want me to come in for an interview to see how I can be of most use. I am excited. I have been given so many opportunities in my life - I would like to start giving back more. I'll let you know how it goes.

Completely unrelated - today's calendar quote struck me as funny and true.

" 'Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."
- Ellen DeGeneres

I HATE running

My friend Bree runs marathons. Kris is a member of a "running" club. Jill runs for relaxation. Carl runs to improve his tennis game. Susan runs for the high. I hate you all.

I am sorry - I just don't get it. What great secret to you guys know that makes running fun. I feel no high - I feel no personal sense of satisfaction - I feel no great relief of stress. I do feel pathetically out of shape. I "ran" for 30 minutes today. . . by that I mean I ran for about 10 minutes, and walked for about 20. I call myself doing the Galloway method, but in all honesty I couldn't run for 30 minutes right now if someone was chasing me.

What am I doing this if I hate it so much you might ask - believe me I have. Unfortunately, by some cruel twist of fate, running works for me. My body shapes up amazingly well when I run. My legs and butt look great and that inspires me to work out my upper body. Now if only I could convince my self that ab work is worth it.

Oh well, enough about running. I had a horrible day of call yesterday, but an awesome day at work today. I took a first year CT fellow thru a lobectomy. It doesn't sound like a lot, but doing an operation and showing someone else how to do an operation is entirely different. This year here is doing amazing things for my self confidence. If only it could make me love to run.

Stay tuned.

Craving Zaxby's

As I sit down to write my blog, I realize that my friend Kris is right - again. She accused me last week of being a weekly blogger. I told her she was crazy, but as I look back I realize that she is correct. I could argue that I am so busy and important I can't be bothered to blog more often, but that would be a lie. The actual truth is my life is too boring for more frequent blogging. I bore myself silly these days - no point in bringing you guys along.

My blog today is a case in point. I need Zaxby's. As most of you know, Zaxby's is my favorite fast food restaurant. They have amazing french fries and we all know french fries are my thing. I had Zaxby withdrawals while in Nashville because the closest one was a little hard to frequent, but I could almost always talk Bassam into making a run with me. The 30 minute drive that was required back then is nothing compared to the 10 hour drive required from here. I blame CNN. CNN you might ask. I had been able to successfully push seasoned french fries and chicken fingers to the back of my brain until I logged onto CNN.com today. I was trying to catch up on world events - or at least read the political coverage when low and behold right in the middle of my screen is a Zaxby's advert. I am really excited. This must mean they have them nearby right. I mean really no one would be cruel enough to advertise something in a part of the country that you can't buy it right? WRONG! ! The closest store is in Virginia. Needless to say, I am never again watching or webbing CNN. Cruel and unusual.

I did try this amazing restaurant Friday night. It was a upscale take on a Mexican restaurant. I couldn't pronounce anything on the menu, but loved everything that I tried. Unfortunately I did not get home until almost 2 am and had to be up at work at 4. Needless to say I took a nap yesterday. Today I am on call and it has been busy so far. We shall see.

Last thing - I need help. No smart remarks. I need help with a specific goal. I need to start running again. You all know that I don't particularly like to run. What I really need is for Jill to move here and kick my butt around the park a few laps, but since that is not likely to happen - I need you guys to hold me accountable. I am going to start training to run again starting tomorrow post call. I will include a quick blurb about how it is going in my blog. If I quit talking about it chances are I quit doing it. That is where you guys come into play. If I slack off - I need you all to call me on it. My bathroom scale and clothes thank you.

Waiting

I spend way too much of my life waiting. I seem to wait on all kinds of things. . . My operating room to be ready, my patient to be asleep, my conference to start, Mr Right to come. I am currently waiting for a conference to start. Who decides that Wednesday afternoon at 5pm is a great time to have a pathology conference. I mean if I am not still operating (which is the norm) - I want to be headed home. Oh well - wait I will continue to do.

Things continue to be well here. Weather still absolutely gorgeous. If this is still summer - sign me up for more of it. I am starting to put together a career plan and I am trying to solicit help. I need ideas of places to live - everyone can't say Nashville or Atlanta. I think I am looking for a medium to large city with a large busy hospital. I am leaning toward Academic, but not entirely sold. The idea of a sweet busy private practice job somewhere with Bree as my NP sounds pretty good to me. She can run everything and I will just operate. Wait - this is sounding better and better. Anyway - I am very serious about help with this whole deciding where to live thing. I mean seriously - how does one decide where to live for more than a 5 year commitment?

Yes - I know that at heart this all goes back to my commitment issues. I don't know why I have them, but I do. Maybe that will be my way to get on Oprah. I would prefer to be her next Dr Oz - he is after all a cardiothoracic surgeon who seems to know a lot more than the rest of us CT surgeons about things outside the chest.

Okay, I have now progressed to just random thoughts so I will stop here. I still have 30 minutes to kill. Maybe I will shop online for an Obama shirt. I saw a couple on Halle Berry that were adorable. I know that they will not be quite the same on me, but allow me these hallucinations.

Later

Rx - beautiful weather

Okay - illness slowly resolving. I think I may finally see a light at the end of this homesickness thing. It helps that the weather is absolutely PERFECT here right now. My mom complained today about how hot it was at home - I didn't have the heart to tell her that I actually wore a jacket to work today. It is that truly amazing weather - where the morning air has a little nip to it, but by mid afternoon a more perfect day could not be described. I spend my post call day last week walking around the city, and had a really great time. I ended up walking over 60 blocks - I kept getting distracted and turning down new streets.

This past Saturday, I was able to head to New Jersey and visit my friend Beth. She and her husband John celebrated their 5th anniversary. It was great to see them and catch up with some of their friends, but I think the next anniversary party should be back in Italy. I will be there in a heartbeat.

I spent Sunday hanging around the city. I was on "back-up" call. Difficult to explain, but basically means I am required to be within the city and sober. Not overly taxing.

I have included a couple of pictures of one of my favorite fountains here. I say one of because they have an astounding number of fountains and parks here. I don't know about that whole Bill of Rights and Constitution thing, but the Founding Fathers definitely knew how to design an easy to navigate and beautiful city. This particular park is called LOVE park - i assume it has something to do with that whole city of Brotherly Love thing, but I am not certain. They occasionally die it strange and interesting colors - again I have no idea why, but it makes it interesting.

My friend Jackie is having a rough time at the moment. Everyone please remember her in your prayers - she is definitely in mine.

DX: Homesickness

Being the brilliant surgeon that I am - I have spent several weeks trying to figure out what is wrong with me. My symptoms include: fatigue, muscle aches, headaches, increased appetite, sluggishness, and difficulty sleeping. Those of you who know me know that I came up with a pretty exciting list of potential illnesses. (Wow - that hour I was convinced I had malaria was fun). I mean I am the girl that went to the doctor last year convinced I was hypothyroid and walked away with the diagnosis of old age and bad career choice. I have thought long and hard, and the answer finally came to me today - well actually it first came to me on Tuesday. I am Homesick. Now you may ask homesick for where exactly . . . my answer - lots of places, Athens, Augusta, Nashville. Anyplace full of friendly faces and people that I enjoy.

My epiphany started on Tuesday. I finally got around to going to the DOT to get a Pennsylvania license. The reason I wanted a license had nothing to do with the "rule" that you are supposed to get a new license when you move - I have only had a Georgia license since I was 15 and that includes the two years I lived in the state of Tennessee. I wanted a license to vote. I finally live in a state that may actually be in play this Presidential election and I am an Obama girl. (No, there are no you-tube videos of me in short shorts and tight t-shirt so don't bother looking). I sat in the Penn License Center for 2 1/2 hours and waited in 4 seperate lines, including the line that I waited in so that I could get a number to wait. I had a book, and was very patient. However, when the time came to turn over my Georgia license, I wanted to cry. I know that seems a little overemotional, and I recognize that it is, but it is true none the less.

I got my new temporary license, registered to vote and went home and went straight to bed. It was 6 pm. Today, I got up and walked outside to my car. It was 5:30 am and cold. I mean I needed a sweater cold. That is when it hit me. I miss home. Fall days are enjoyable, and one of my favorite times of the year, but not in my frame of reference meant to be in August - early August at that. Seriously, we should still be in the hottest part of the summer. Here everyone is bemoaning the fact that summer is over.

I know that it is early still. I know that I will adjust. I know that there are lots of fun and exciting things to do in Philadelphia that I could do no where else in the world. However, at this particular time, I miss all of the things not in Philadelphia a lot.

I post this mostly as a warning. Many of you will be receiving a phone call this weekend. I have decided the best treatment for my illness is to indulge it. I plan to spend the weekend, since I am on call, catching up with all the people that I miss. Bare with me - hopefully this is a fever that we can feed and it will go away. If not, we may all have to figure out how to move Philadelphia further south. Talk to you soon.

Girl Grooming

Isn't it amazing how much a simple pedicure can change your whole attitude? At least it can for me. I will be honest - I had let a few things go since moving here. My eyebrows, my nails, my hair, etc. Therefore, when faced with yet another weekend off, I decided that a little girl grooming was in order.

I started with a new haircut. Now you all know that this can be an incredibly scary endeavour. I decided to compound the scariness by going to a "teaching" salon. You may wonder why on earth I would do something so crazy - three reasons actually. ONE: my friend Kris found an article in Allure magazine touting the greatness of this particular salon in Philly. I have learned from our 10 years of friendship to listen to her about such things. TWO: I have benefited thru the years from "practicing" on others. I figure if people will let me practice surgery on them, the least I can do is allow someone to "practice" cutting my hair. THREE: living here is Expensive. My new haircut only cost 16 dollars. Correct - I said 16 dollars. By far the cheapest haircut I have ever received. Even better, I actually like it. It is short in the back, with an asymetrical point in the front. It can be styled a little edgier than I will probably ever have cause for, but even just "normal" I think it is cute. I was not yet brave enough for color, but will be going back in one month to have my roots touched up.

While at the salon, I also got my brows shaped, and then I was off for a pedicure. Some friends in Nashville had given me this great pedicure salon set so that some of my anxiety was relieved. I would be carrying my own instruments, so that whole do they actually sterilize their instruments was less stressful for me. Since I was already outside of my comfort zone, I actually skipped my normal french manicure and went with "No Autographs Please" red. I even added a little something for decoration. I like it overall - they cut them a little shorter than I love, but I think we can adjust that one thing.


I know this makes me incredibly shallow, but I actually feel better. People are so much more than their hair or nails, but I actually feel better when I am well groomed. Maybe it is that I am taking time for myself that makes the difference, or maybe it really is vanity - I know that I look better with kept brows and nails. Regardless, my day of grooming has helped me step out of the funk that I had fallen into the last few weeks.