Do you remember that feeling on the last day of school before summer break? When you are so excited that you literally struggled staying in your desk chair? Your mind refusing to focus on any one thing?
I am experiencing those exact same symptoms today. I don't have a long lazy summer ahead of me, but I do have a week of parental pampering in store. Ten whole days snuggled in the beginnings of a North Georgia Fall (okay, yes technically it is still 90+ degrees, but a little poetic license if you please).
I will be making a quick dash to Nashville for a meeting and hopefully finding a place to live, but other than that there is absolutely nothing on the agenda. I walk everywhere these days with a very long To Do list which will be staying on my dining room table. Real countdown to the move starts when I get back, but I can always think about that later.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Needing Nail Nirvana
I desperately need my nails done. The kind of desperate that almost had me looking for nail clippers, and for a girl that hasn't cut her own nails in 15 years - that's desperate. It should be simple enough to get them done. My place that I use is literally right down the street from my condo. I am just starting to think it wasn't meant to be.
Was convinced that last weekend was going to be a disaster since I was on call everywhere - quietest weekend ever - necessary to wear closed toe shoes.
Monday night I had a 6 pm appointment - clinic ran long and I had to cancel - chipped two nails.
Tuesday night appointment at 5 pm - nail technician had emergency had to cancel - am now at fear toenail fighting it's way through sock.
Wednesday appointment at 5 pm - in operating room with disaster case - could feel my nails growing through my gloves.
Thursday appointment at noon - after clinic, but before meetings started - should have known better - consults, late patients in clinic, etc - nails currently clacking away on keyboard - I hate that sound.
I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow after work. Of course, I also need to pack and clean as I am flying home Saturday morning, but hope springs eternal. There is also a good chance the TSA won't let me board with these weapons, and goodness knows I'm not taking off my shoes to walk through the scanner.
Was convinced that last weekend was going to be a disaster since I was on call everywhere - quietest weekend ever - necessary to wear closed toe shoes.
Monday night I had a 6 pm appointment - clinic ran long and I had to cancel - chipped two nails.
Tuesday night appointment at 5 pm - nail technician had emergency had to cancel - am now at fear toenail fighting it's way through sock.
Wednesday appointment at 5 pm - in operating room with disaster case - could feel my nails growing through my gloves.
Thursday appointment at noon - after clinic, but before meetings started - should have known better - consults, late patients in clinic, etc - nails currently clacking away on keyboard - I hate that sound.
I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow after work. Of course, I also need to pack and clean as I am flying home Saturday morning, but hope springs eternal. There is also a good chance the TSA won't let me board with these weapons, and goodness knows I'm not taking off my shoes to walk through the scanner.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Secretly Slothful
I have a confession to make - I am an incredibly lazy person deep down. I was on call for three different hospitals this weekend, and since I usually have bad call luck, I purposefully made no plans. In a weird twist of fate, call was incredibly quite. So what did I do with all that unexpected time - NOTHING. And I mean nada, zip, zero this weekend. Saturday I read an book, and Sunday I watched an NCIS marathon that I had recorded Saturday. Am I proud of this behavior, of course not, but I am starting to think that it may be the real me because I feel fantastic today.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Sweater Obsession
Okay - is it odd that I have developed a SERIOUS sweater obsession? I can't pass a store or website without checking out the upcoming fall fashions. My excuse is the upcoming move back to seasons, but in reality I am currently still existing in 90+ degree weather. However, I have developed some serious cute outfits for my first real fall in years.
I will need someone to remind me of this yearn for colder weathers come January, but as for now I need to go check out a few more sweaters. . . . and perhaps coats
I will need someone to remind me of this yearn for colder weathers come January, but as for now I need to go check out a few more sweaters. . . . and perhaps coats
Friday, August 23, 2013
My Absence
My last post was in early April. It's fairly easy to catch you up since then - I went nuts. Mid-Life Crisis nuts. The kind of nuts that people end up checking out of their lives to beach huts in Jamaica selling bead bracelets nuts. Or married to a 20 yo nurse and driving a new Ferrari nuts (oh wait, that's all the men I know).
Let's just agree that 40 was not my friend.
Looking back, I still am not sure why I took 40 quite so hard. I have never been overly concerned with aging. I joke about it a lot, but deep down have always felt that I still look pretty good for my age. However, this year was different. I smiled and joked with my friends about turning the "big 4-0", but deep down I was not in a good place. The best explanation that I have been able to come up with is that I found myself at 40 not living the life that I had expected. What life I expected I'm not quite sure, but was certain that this was not it. I know that many of my friends thought this was an ovary thing, but I honestly don't think that was it. I am and have always been quite comfortable with my decision to not have children of my own. That being said, I do think this was about a personal fulfillment thing. I have grown into my job, and can honestly say that I enjoy it. However, I have not developed the personal life here that I expected. This is a tough town in which to be a single woman of an older age. It also doesn't help that I'm not Latina. It's not just about men - I haven't been able to build that network of great girl friends in this town that I've always been able to find. It just seems that Miami is just not a good fit for me.
Enter Karma.
Shortly after returning from a birthday trip to Nashville, I get a call from Bassam telling me there may be a job at his hospital for a Thoracic Surgeon. A few short weeks later, I have a job offer that I can't refuse in a city that I love. Okay, the decision wasn't quite that easy, but it did feel right. Looking back, I am not sure that I would have made the decision to leave my job to move had I not gone a little nuts. I have always made decisions based on what was best for my career giving no thought to what was best for my personal life. I think the craziness that was my life allowed me to put my personal happiness on par with my professional happiness. I am not sure that sane rational me would have been brave enough to make that decision. I won't tell you that I have no anxiety about leaving a professional comfort zone to enter an unknown world, but I am ecstatic to be moving back to a city that feels like home. I just have to believe that personally fulfilled Tammy will be an even better professionally fulfilled Tammy.
Fingers crossed.
Let's just agree that 40 was not my friend.
Looking back, I still am not sure why I took 40 quite so hard. I have never been overly concerned with aging. I joke about it a lot, but deep down have always felt that I still look pretty good for my age. However, this year was different. I smiled and joked with my friends about turning the "big 4-0", but deep down I was not in a good place. The best explanation that I have been able to come up with is that I found myself at 40 not living the life that I had expected. What life I expected I'm not quite sure, but was certain that this was not it. I know that many of my friends thought this was an ovary thing, but I honestly don't think that was it. I am and have always been quite comfortable with my decision to not have children of my own. That being said, I do think this was about a personal fulfillment thing. I have grown into my job, and can honestly say that I enjoy it. However, I have not developed the personal life here that I expected. This is a tough town in which to be a single woman of an older age. It also doesn't help that I'm not Latina. It's not just about men - I haven't been able to build that network of great girl friends in this town that I've always been able to find. It just seems that Miami is just not a good fit for me.
Enter Karma.
Shortly after returning from a birthday trip to Nashville, I get a call from Bassam telling me there may be a job at his hospital for a Thoracic Surgeon. A few short weeks later, I have a job offer that I can't refuse in a city that I love. Okay, the decision wasn't quite that easy, but it did feel right. Looking back, I am not sure that I would have made the decision to leave my job to move had I not gone a little nuts. I have always made decisions based on what was best for my career giving no thought to what was best for my personal life. I think the craziness that was my life allowed me to put my personal happiness on par with my professional happiness. I am not sure that sane rational me would have been brave enough to make that decision. I won't tell you that I have no anxiety about leaving a professional comfort zone to enter an unknown world, but I am ecstatic to be moving back to a city that feels like home. I just have to believe that personally fulfilled Tammy will be an even better professionally fulfilled Tammy.
Fingers crossed.
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