Monday, April 15, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Idle Weekend
Idle Weekend? Ever had one of those weekends where you felt like you spent the whole weekend running around, but end up with nothing to show for it? My weekend in a nutshell.
Saturday was a lot of putting Plan B into action. I needed a few things to get me back on the "workout" train. First off I needed (yes I said needed) new workout clothes. Nothing says get your butt to the gym like new workout clothes. Next, I needed a goal dress. You know the dress that doesn't even attempt to hide your flaws - the in your face this body is rockin dress? It is now hanging on my bathroom door where I have to walk past it every day. Luckily all of the running around helped me get in a lot of steps and then a quick walk around the beach finished off my exercise for the day. Food was also clean even with the on the go part.
Sunday started with quick rounds and then off to the grocery store - in Naples. Okay, most people don't drive 2 hours for a grocery store, but they have a Trader Joe's in Naples. (As an aside, our Trader Joe's which was to open in July has now been pushed to September.) Every three or four months, a friend and I drive over to Naples and stock up - it's amazing how many things one can only find at a Trader Joe's. Unfortunately our other Naples ritual is Sonic (yet another thing we don't have here). No "healthy" options there, but kept it good the rest of the day.
Now need to go slather on some After Sun - convertible, two hour drive, no sunscreen is not a pretty site - and head to bed. Hoping to get up early for a quick run before work.
Saturday was a lot of putting Plan B into action. I needed a few things to get me back on the "workout" train. First off I needed (yes I said needed) new workout clothes. Nothing says get your butt to the gym like new workout clothes. Next, I needed a goal dress. You know the dress that doesn't even attempt to hide your flaws - the in your face this body is rockin dress? It is now hanging on my bathroom door where I have to walk past it every day. Luckily all of the running around helped me get in a lot of steps and then a quick walk around the beach finished off my exercise for the day. Food was also clean even with the on the go part.
Sunday started with quick rounds and then off to the grocery store - in Naples. Okay, most people don't drive 2 hours for a grocery store, but they have a Trader Joe's in Naples. (As an aside, our Trader Joe's which was to open in July has now been pushed to September.) Every three or four months, a friend and I drive over to Naples and stock up - it's amazing how many things one can only find at a Trader Joe's. Unfortunately our other Naples ritual is Sonic (yet another thing we don't have here). No "healthy" options there, but kept it good the rest of the day.
Now need to go slather on some After Sun - convertible, two hour drive, no sunscreen is not a pretty site - and head to bed. Hoping to get up early for a quick run before work.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Plan B
Supposedly, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Consider this my admission. Defining the problem - now that's a harder issue. (Don't worry no drug or alcohol issues - it hasn't gotten that bad yet.) I started this year with such high hopes and expectations. Sadly only four months into 2013, I have been feeling ready to concede.
Have you ever realized that you were acting completing irrationally or self-destructively, and yet been unable to stop the behavior? Welcome to my world as of late. I have chosen to blame my upcoming 40th birthday, but recognize that a random Saturday in April is not the real culprit. I hate to be trite and trot out some psycho babble about dissatisfaction or recognition of mortality, but something is certainly not right at the moment. What is even less clear to me is how to fix it.
Clearly what I have been doing isn't working. Unless of course you consider 30 lbs, insomnia, severe mood swings and adult onset acne a success story. I don't. At present I can't wear anything in my closet, and am rapidly losing friends from my perpetual grumpy state. Not exactly how I wanted to enter my 40th year.
It wish I could conclude this post with my great plan to "fix it". I don't have a grand plan, but I do know something about myself. I like goals. I need something to work toward - a tangible target. (I'm also hoping that finding something else to fixate upon will distract me from my present mind set.)
Therefore, I'm picking my weight. I am giving myself the next four months to lose 30 lbs, and am going to use this blog as a place for accountability and to chart my progress. As of this morning, I am approximately 30 lbs from a realistic weight for me to maintain. I have fallen into some bad eating habits and have no aerobic capacity at the moment - so this seems like a good place to start. Stay tuned for tomorrow where I will recap Day 1.
Have you ever realized that you were acting completing irrationally or self-destructively, and yet been unable to stop the behavior? Welcome to my world as of late. I have chosen to blame my upcoming 40th birthday, but recognize that a random Saturday in April is not the real culprit. I hate to be trite and trot out some psycho babble about dissatisfaction or recognition of mortality, but something is certainly not right at the moment. What is even less clear to me is how to fix it.
Clearly what I have been doing isn't working. Unless of course you consider 30 lbs, insomnia, severe mood swings and adult onset acne a success story. I don't. At present I can't wear anything in my closet, and am rapidly losing friends from my perpetual grumpy state. Not exactly how I wanted to enter my 40th year.
It wish I could conclude this post with my great plan to "fix it". I don't have a grand plan, but I do know something about myself. I like goals. I need something to work toward - a tangible target. (I'm also hoping that finding something else to fixate upon will distract me from my present mind set.)
Therefore, I'm picking my weight. I am giving myself the next four months to lose 30 lbs, and am going to use this blog as a place for accountability and to chart my progress. As of this morning, I am approximately 30 lbs from a realistic weight for me to maintain. I have fallen into some bad eating habits and have no aerobic capacity at the moment - so this seems like a good place to start. Stay tuned for tomorrow where I will recap Day 1.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Change
Some people love change. They are always looking for something new, different, untried and unknown. I am not one of those people.
I wish I were one of those people. Life would be much less difficult if I didn't let the fear of change stop me from trying new things or cause me to tolerate difficult situations just because they are comfortable.
I have been this way my entire life, and it's time for it to stop.
Change is coming. . .
I wish I were one of those people. Life would be much less difficult if I didn't let the fear of change stop me from trying new things or cause me to tolerate difficult situations just because they are comfortable.
I have been this way my entire life, and it's time for it to stop.
Change is coming. . .
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Savasana
For those of you unfamiliar with the word Savasana, it is the last pose performed in yoga class. It is also known as corpse pose - now you see why it goes by the Sanskrit. The pose is much like it sounds. You lie on your back with eyes closed and palms open toward the ceiling. You then spend the next few minutes only concerned with the rhythm of your breathing. (Okay - I guess the breathing part would be fairly creepy in a corpse.)
It is my favorite part of yoga, and not just because it is the easiest. It is a great time to not only catch your breath - yoga can be strenuous when taught well - but to rest your mind. After spending the last hour or so having to concentrate only on contorting your body into what feels like an unnatural position, your brain has yet to pick back up the million other thoughts that are usually swirling around. It is the time when I find it easiest to truly think of nothing - perhaps the closest I may ever come to true meditation. I finish yoga feeling not only physically refreshed, but mentally as well.
This week at Canyon Ranch has been one long Savasana pose for me. It couldn't have come at a better time - mentally, physically and spiritually. I had a fantastic week and learned a lot, but mostly I feel renewed. I was able to give both my mind and body a rest.
Namaste
It is my favorite part of yoga, and not just because it is the easiest. It is a great time to not only catch your breath - yoga can be strenuous when taught well - but to rest your mind. After spending the last hour or so having to concentrate only on contorting your body into what feels like an unnatural position, your brain has yet to pick back up the million other thoughts that are usually swirling around. It is the time when I find it easiest to truly think of nothing - perhaps the closest I may ever come to true meditation. I finish yoga feeling not only physically refreshed, but mentally as well.
This week at Canyon Ranch has been one long Savasana pose for me. It couldn't have come at a better time - mentally, physically and spiritually. I had a fantastic week and learned a lot, but mostly I feel renewed. I was able to give both my mind and body a rest.
Namaste
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Tying a Knot to Hold On
I am holding on to my optimism for 2013, but barely. It has been a rough few days, and this time I can't blame work.
It all started with a car accident - mine. I live in Miami, so car accidents are not a rarity, and I even picked my current car because I knew at some point it would be involved in an accident. However, I was fairly confident that I would have somebody else to blame - drivers here after all are CRAZY. Unfortunately that is not exactly how the story goes. It was a Sunday afternoon. I was coming home from rounds. I was not on the phone, I was not sleep deprived, I was not running late and no surprise here - stone cold sober. No one cut me off or stopped suddenly in front of me. I hit a support beam next to my parking space - a space that I have been parking in daily for the last 2 1/2 years I must admit. I have no explanation nor excuse.
Fast forward a few days. I finally joined the adults and got a "real" kitchen knife sets for Christmas. These knives are amazing - German, pretty and SHARP. According to the trauma literature, more knife injuries occur with dull rather than sharp knives - I couldn't disagree more. I have stabbed myself, cut a hole in not one but three kitchen towels drying the darn things, and almost sliced off the tip of my pointer finger on my dominant hand! And can I just add that hand injuries which prevent one from scrubbing when one is a surgeon are just a little aggravating.
Monday I had the distinct pleasure to partake of one of the pleasures of citizenship that is jury duty. What frustrates me about jury duty isn't the act itself. I am perfectly happy to fulfill my civic service, and suspect that I would actually find partaking in a real case (as a jurist not a defendant) incredibly fascinating. However, attorneys and doctors don't mix. It is fairly common knowledge that it is incredibly rare - read never - for a doctor to end up on a criminal jury. Rumor has it that prosecutors find us too analytical and thus unpredictable, and defense attorneys supposedly find us too out of touch with the everyday life of their "clientele". Regardless, we never make the final cut. However, that doesn't prevent them from keeping us the whole day and asking us ridiculous questions in a room full of strangers. My favorite exchange on Monday :
Mr. Defense Attorney: "Ms, I mean Dr. Baxter, can doctor's lie?"
Me: "Of course, we are human. All humans are capable of lying"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "But you are scientist, scientist never lie"
Me: "Well I think we know from several front page stories that is not necessarily true"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "Do you think attorneys can lie"
Me: "Absolutely, part of the job I would say"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "no more questions"
Hmmm. Perhaps I am beginning to see why we never get picked.
To add final insult to injury, I decided to have a go at a Cross-Fit work out today. I conveniently chose to ignore a few key facts: not only have I not been working out regularly for about three months, but I haven't ran a step since October! My luck held up of course, and the work out of the day involved multiple 400 m runs, burbees, squat jumps and overhead dumbbell presses. Now there was a time not that long ago that I would have attacked such a workout with glee and asked for more. Today, said workout attacked me and quite honestly kicked my butt. The one thing it did accomplish is motivation. I know that I can be better than today's workout.
I still believe that this is going to be my year. I just have to survive myself first.
It all started with a car accident - mine. I live in Miami, so car accidents are not a rarity, and I even picked my current car because I knew at some point it would be involved in an accident. However, I was fairly confident that I would have somebody else to blame - drivers here after all are CRAZY. Unfortunately that is not exactly how the story goes. It was a Sunday afternoon. I was coming home from rounds. I was not on the phone, I was not sleep deprived, I was not running late and no surprise here - stone cold sober. No one cut me off or stopped suddenly in front of me. I hit a support beam next to my parking space - a space that I have been parking in daily for the last 2 1/2 years I must admit. I have no explanation nor excuse.
Fast forward a few days. I finally joined the adults and got a "real" kitchen knife sets for Christmas. These knives are amazing - German, pretty and SHARP. According to the trauma literature, more knife injuries occur with dull rather than sharp knives - I couldn't disagree more. I have stabbed myself, cut a hole in not one but three kitchen towels drying the darn things, and almost sliced off the tip of my pointer finger on my dominant hand! And can I just add that hand injuries which prevent one from scrubbing when one is a surgeon are just a little aggravating.
Monday I had the distinct pleasure to partake of one of the pleasures of citizenship that is jury duty. What frustrates me about jury duty isn't the act itself. I am perfectly happy to fulfill my civic service, and suspect that I would actually find partaking in a real case (as a jurist not a defendant) incredibly fascinating. However, attorneys and doctors don't mix. It is fairly common knowledge that it is incredibly rare - read never - for a doctor to end up on a criminal jury. Rumor has it that prosecutors find us too analytical and thus unpredictable, and defense attorneys supposedly find us too out of touch with the everyday life of their "clientele". Regardless, we never make the final cut. However, that doesn't prevent them from keeping us the whole day and asking us ridiculous questions in a room full of strangers. My favorite exchange on Monday :
Mr. Defense Attorney: "Ms, I mean Dr. Baxter, can doctor's lie?"
Me: "Of course, we are human. All humans are capable of lying"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "But you are scientist, scientist never lie"
Me: "Well I think we know from several front page stories that is not necessarily true"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "Do you think attorneys can lie"
Me: "Absolutely, part of the job I would say"
Mr. Defense Attorney: "no more questions"
Hmmm. Perhaps I am beginning to see why we never get picked.
To add final insult to injury, I decided to have a go at a Cross-Fit work out today. I conveniently chose to ignore a few key facts: not only have I not been working out regularly for about three months, but I haven't ran a step since October! My luck held up of course, and the work out of the day involved multiple 400 m runs, burbees, squat jumps and overhead dumbbell presses. Now there was a time not that long ago that I would have attacked such a workout with glee and asked for more. Today, said workout attacked me and quite honestly kicked my butt. The one thing it did accomplish is motivation. I know that I can be better than today's workout.
I still believe that this is going to be my year. I just have to survive myself first.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Too Quiet
I sit here at work typing this because I am avoiding going home. Why you definitely have a right to ask, as I am normally whining about not getting to leave the hospital? I am avoiding going home because I know that it is going to be quiet.
Let me explain. Between going home before Christmas, the Holidays which were jam-packed, and my parents/sister coming down for the week after the New Year, I have gotten used to constant company. My parents and sister left this morning as I came to work, so for the first time in a long time, I will be spending my evening alone. Usually, at this point, I would be dying for some alone time. However, for some reason tonight I am dreading it a little.
Perhaps I will go work-out to avoid it a little longer.
Let me explain. Between going home before Christmas, the Holidays which were jam-packed, and my parents/sister coming down for the week after the New Year, I have gotten used to constant company. My parents and sister left this morning as I came to work, so for the first time in a long time, I will be spending my evening alone. Usually, at this point, I would be dying for some alone time. However, for some reason tonight I am dreading it a little.
Perhaps I will go work-out to avoid it a little longer.
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