I'm Back!

Whew! That's four weeks of my life I'll never get back and hope to never have to relive. It is hard to even really describe what it is like to study for and then actually take the Thoracic Surgery oral boards. I think it might be a lot like combat - you can understand the concept, but it isn't until someone fires at you that you actually get the experience. There aren't many people who walk into a hotel room with two strange men to work through "scenarios" (pretty much just us an working girls). Believe it or not, the reality is even stranger than the description.

Oh well, won't know if I passed for at least a week, but do know that I can't change it now so might as well get on with life. I did walk away from this whole experience having learned a few things about myself, so at least it wasn't all a wash. My lessons:

Lesson 1: It has been a long time since I thought like a Cardiac surgeon. This lesson became very obvious to me in the middle of my exam as I was describing how to "protect the heart" during some huge cardiac disaster scenario.

Lesson 2: For someone who always likes to see things as black or white, I have landed in a profession full of shades of gray. I think this may be good for me in the long run. It has opened me up to the idea that sometimes a problem can have many different equally right solutions. However, I'm still prone to believe my way is best. (Leopard can't change all her spots at once - how else would you still recognize her as a leopard?)

Lesson 3: I miss great friends nearby. I have wonderful friends - I have said it over and over. The only problem is that currently they all live elsewhere. I still talk to them and we visit, but it isn't quite the same as having them down the street. I am a tactile person by nature, and miss having friends within touching distance. I have met lots of people here, but no one has yet to click into that "great" friend spot. Did get to catch up with some great friends over the weekend in Chicago, and am heading to Nashville this weekend, but must keep looking here.

Lesson 4: I am a nomad at heart. This was my first trip to Chicago, and I loved it. I could so see Chicago as "my kind of town" - for a while. Therein lies the problem. There are so many great places that I want to live - for a while. With the exception of Nashville, I can't think of one city that I have lived to which I want to move back. They were all great places, and I can honestly say that for a time I truly loved living in each and everyone of them. However, at the end of the day, there are so many places and so little time. My parents have lived within a 50 mile radius their entire live, so I definitely didn't get this gene from them.

Lesson 5: I may finally be ready for a serious relationship. Don't get too excited out there - I said relationship not marriage. The "M" word still gives me hives and causes me to hyperventilate. However, I am ready to concede that it would be nice to have someone around to share experiences with - the highs and the lows.

I am sure many more lessons were given, but only time will tell if they were learned. All I can say now is that I feel as if a two hundred pound weight as been lifted off my chest. I am happy to be back to normal. Thanks everyone for sticking it out with me yet again.