Have you ever noticed how often you hear people talking about time? Time is now Public Enemy No.1. We are always trying to acquire more of it, outsmart it or out run it. Our lives revolve around a clock. If you took my Outlook calendar away, I am not certain that I could continue to exist. It is the only reason that my smart phone always wins in our perpetual love/hate relationship.
It is unfortunately common knowledge that if you put something on my Outlook calendar, I will show up at the designated place fairly close to the designated time - no questions asked. (Which has me on quite a large number of committees, boards and at way more conferences that I knew could exist in addition to an ever increasing operative load.) While at the designated place, I will be keeping a close eye on the clock to make sure that I make it to the next entry appropriately. This has become the framework of my days. . . A series of Outlook calendar entries.
This is not unique to doctors, although we seem to have a unique perspective on it - more on that later. All of my friends seem to be racing to see who can cram the most into 24 hours. From stay at home moms, attorneys, executives at companies big and small, we are all scheduling our lives away. We are now so needy for schedules that we plan every minute of our vacations and even our "down time". When we find ourselves with that rare blank spot in our day or an unexpected cancellation it creates in itself a small crisis as to how best to fill the time, because we certainly can not let it "go to waste."
Recently I was a participant in three separate conversations with colleagues of mine. All were complaining regarding significant others or friends or non-MD colleagues in their lives who "didn't really know what busy or tired was". It is a commonly held belief among doctors (and perhaps surgeons worst of all) that no one else on the planet has as much on their plate or as stressful of a job as we do. (Yes most of us would compare and declare ourselves the schedule victor even up against POTUS - especially since most of us have never had time for Tweeting in our lives. I'm looking at you President-elect Trump.) However, I found myself playing devil's advocate in all of these "our time is more precious" conversations. My position was that it all comes down to perspective and life experience. It is impossible to judge how "busy" a friend or colleague is in his/her daily life, because I have no frame of reference. Their perception of their day may have them feeling way more stressed about their ability to fit it all in than my stress level at a full, but planned day of two esophageal resections, three meetings and an evening women's work event. Perception is reality and who am I to define someone else's reality.
Besides, I want off the time is of the essence train. While it is not realistic for me to live without a calendar (see above note about cessation of existence). I can let go of having to have an accounting of every minute of every day. It's winter so there will be no smelling of the roses, but perhaps I will be able to start observing the "little things" again. Starting to realize as I get older that perhaps it is the little things that I want to define my life, not a time schedule.
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