The Plague

I am fairly certain that I woke up this morning with the plague.  Sure, it was fairly well iradicated by the late Middle Ages, but I'm starting to believe that it is making a comeback.  I don't understand what happened . . . I felt perfectly fine when I went to bed, but by 3 am I was coughing up a lung and felt as if someone took me outside and beat the crap out of me.  I medicated myself - one of the few advantages of knowing people within the medical profession - but felt no better 3 hours later when it was time to go to work.

Which brings me to the real crux of this diatribe.  People ask all the time why doctors go to work sick.  I can tell you exactly why that happens.  Did I feel like going to work today?  NO  Was I a potential infectious source for already sick people?  Absolutely.  So why did I go to work?

My day started off with an hour drive in the rain to the suburbs for my community outreach clinic.  Once there, I saw 5 new patients, 3 post-operative patients, and 4 follow-ups.  These patients, their significant others and in quite a few instances additional love ones had all arranged their work and life schedules to be free this morning.  They had arranged the days around the idea that they were going to be able to speak to the person that they had been led to believe might actually have a way to save themselves or loved ones from a disease that many had just leaned they might have, and for which they are well aware of kills way too many of its victims.  I then traveled an hour back to the main campus to repeat the experience.  Did I "save a life" in the operating room today - no.  Could these patients have been rescheduled - sure, but if it were you would you have wanted to be rescheduled?  Me either - which is why I took my plague ridden body to work today.  Now I'm going to put it to bed.

Beginning to look a lot like . . .

The Palm Trees are a light and the temperature is a moderate 85 degrees - so Christmas must be right around the corner.  The Christmas season in South Florida can be a difficult mental leap.  I went Christmas shopping today in a sleeveless dress and flip flops.  As I drove around town with my convertible top down, I found myself singing "Winter Wonderland".  All of that being said, Christmas season is indeed upon us.  For the first time in quite a few years, I actually find myself in the Christmas spirit this year.  I am almost finished with my shopping, and have a big day of wrapping planned for tomorrow.  I'm also planning to put up the tree after my cleaning lady leaves.  Not sure why I was able to catch the fever this year, but am happy that the joy of the Season is back.

Where to start . . .

Okay - I've been bad.  I'm sorry.  I would say that it won't happen again, but we all know that is likely not true.  In my defense, it has been a very tumultuous time here in South Florida, and much of the last few months have been mostly about trying to stay alive.  

A little hyperbole there - we were barely glanced by the tropical storm.  However on a professional level, it's been fairly treacherous here the last few months.  I won't bore you with the details, mostly because they are too depressing to discuss.  However, for an example of the last few months, I was at a meeting with the Provost of the University recently when he likened a faculty member's concern (which truly was a petty issue) to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.  The man who runs my University feels that we are on a sinking ship - hmmmm - time for a job search?

Things are still incredibly unstable here, but I'm trying to remind myself that my mother is right - things usually happen the way they are supposed to - even if it doesn't fit my personal timeline or plan.  I won't tell you that I completely have my mental state back to a good place, but I'm working on getting it there.   

I Hate Mondays!

I think the world would be a much better place if Monday's simply did not exist.  I know what you are thinking - eliminating Monday's won't solve the problem, next you will hate Tuesday's.  Any day that follows the weekend is destined to be despised.  I disagree.  I think there is something inherently evil about Monday.

It's not that I hate Monday's because I have to go back to work after a nice long relaxing weekend.  Relaxing weekends are rare in my world, and having been on call for the last 18 days straight - I"m not sure that I would recognize one if I saw it.  I routinely work every other weekend, so if it was just the going back to work thing - I should only hate half of all Mondays.  Yet, I find myself dreading every single one of them.

What makes them so evil?  I'm not sure exactly, but they almost feel like a taunt.  It is like the Cosmo is saying . . . if only you had made a smarter career decision. . . if only you had a normal job . . . if only you had a life to enjoy. . . if only.  Perhaps that is why I hate Mondays.  They seem like yet another opportunity that passed by without me taking advantage.  Proof that time is passing by way to quickly.     Okay, perhaps it isn't the day itself, but my life that I am railing against.  However - at present I'm sticking with blaming Mondays.

Things not to say at the airport . . .

This story has a little back story.  A few months back, a heart transplant team from the Mayo Clinic here in Florida were killed when the helicopter they were flying in crashed.  I first heard of it when I received a panicked phone call from my mother who missed the Mayo clinic part of the story.  Following the story, seemingly thousands of emails have circulated among the transplant surgeons and powers that be here at UM regarding liability and life insurance.  The final consensus was as "transplant" surgeons, we expose ourselves to more potential harm than a "non-transplant" surgeon.  Therefore, the plan was to have additional insurance coverage should something happen during a harvest.  There was much debate about how much and how best to go about obtaining it, but quite honestly when they started discussing the tax benefits of establishing estates - I quit reading the emails.

Then yesterday rolled around.  The weather here in Miami has been atrocious since Saturday.  Heavy rain with dense clouds and no sunshine in sight.  I get the phone call that I'm needed to fly to Puerto Rico to harvest a heart.  Not overly excited, I climb into the car and head to the airport.  Due to the rough flying conditions, we are sharing the flight with the liver team.  We usually prefer to let them go first as their part takes longer, but in this instance the plan was to have me bide my time in San Juan while he got started.  During our ride to the airport, we were both discussing how little we were looking forward to the rough flight ahead. 

Then, simultaneously both of our phones chime signalling incoming emails.  The subject of the email - "death insurance".  It was an email from our VCA telling us that all the "kinks" of the additional life insurance policy had not been worked out.  Hence, we were still only covered by our standard hospital policy.  It was consequently his recommendation that we both go "online" and purchase an additional trip policy coverage of 5 million dollars for which the department would reimburse us. 

Let's just say this did not allay our fears.  It also turns out that pilots don't really like it when you ask them to delay your flight so that you can quickly go online and buy insurance in case the plane crashes.  We knew it was going to be a bumpy flight due to the weather, but pretty sure they were looking for "pockets" to hit.  At least all is well that ends well - until next time.

Still Here

Despite my several month absence, I am still alive and kicking.  Okay - not so much the kicking, but alive definitely.  I would love to tell you than my inattention to this blog was due to all of my attention being taken by some super hot guy, my new modeling career, a secret agent mission or the fact that I moved to an island without internet access.  Alas, it was work - as usual.  (Note to self - careful for what one asks.)  I have recently given work so much attention, that I have nothing to write about - as my mother has assured me on more than one occasion that NO ONE wants to hear my work stories.  I've been in a very reflective mood the last several days, and am trying to break this rut.  Stay tuned to see - hopefully.

Take Two

My first week of resolutions have gone fairly well.  The no shopping thing is hard, but I'm holding on - if only by a fine thread.  Supposedly it takes 21 days for a new pattern to become a habit so only two weeks to go.

Since I have been successful to date, I have decided to up the ante.  It is time to add a few fitness goals.  I know everyone makes the standard - lose 20 pounds, go to the gym more, and start "insert exercise x" here, but I wanted to be very specific and hopefully attainable.

My Fitness Goals:

1 - Get up at the same time everyday to do cardio in the morning.  Supposedly it is best for your metabolism to get your body moving in the morning.  I personally prefer evening work-outs, but I want to do a little something every morning to get things started.

2 - Run a half marathon in under 2:15.  I am already signed up for two, but suspect I will need to add another to obtain this goal, but I'm willing.

3 - Obtain my scuba certification.  Okay technically this is probably not fitness, but it will get me in a wetsuit which has to be a motivator for staying healthy.

4 - Tennis lessons.  I took them while in Nashville and really enjoyed it.  Want to learn enough to be able to actually play a game.

5 - Start cycling.  My ultimate goal is a triathlon, but have given myself my 40th birthday to obtain that one, but I need to start cycling if I hope to be successful.  Therefore, this is the year.

I have a very good feeling about 2012.  Not sure why, but I think that this is definitely my year.

I'm seeing a pattern

A fair number of surgeons reportedly have alcohol problems.  I am starting to understand why.  When I finished my clinic this morning, I had been given 3 bottles of wine and a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka - that's right Vodka.  Do my patients think I am badly in need of a drink?

Lame, sad or pathetic

I just walked in the door following a very long day, and even though the clock only says 8 pm - I really, really want to go to bed.  The conversation going on inside my head is quite amusing if one viewed from a third person perspective.  I have tried justification (ridiculous day), bartering (get up early in morning) and bribery (Starbuck's coffee), but at the end of the day perhaps I should just call it what it is - lame, sad and pathetic.

Naughty Chair

So I got to spend some time in the naughty chair today.  After I finished my cases today, my plan was to quickly stop by my office, grab my coat and run over to the other hospital.  However, my assistant seemed to have other plans.  She followed me into my office, with her arms crossed.  Never good.

"I know it was a bad week last week, but . . ", she began.  She then listed all of the charts, billing, signatures, patient phone calls, and path reports that needed my attention - some now for quite some time. You noticed that giving up procrastination was not one of my resolutions.

Alas, four hours, and much complaining on my part later, I had atoned for my sins, and was again allowed free reign of the hospital.  Would like to say that I learned my lesson, but unlikely.

End Run

Supposedly 75% of all resolutions are broken by noon on January 2nd.  Therefore, I decided to make an end run around that little dilemma - I'm making my resolutions now - a full 6 hrs after everyone else abandoned theirs.

I am somewhat hesitant to write some of these resolutions down as I have already told a few friends, and they laughed at me, but I'll resolve to be brave and carry on.

Since as you will soon see some of my resolutions are quite ambitious, I have also included a few more easily attainable ones.  (No need to kick myself while I am already down.)



                                                                     2012 Resolutions

1. No shopping for the month of January.  I'll pause for a minute while you all stop laughing.  Even my mother scoffed at this one, but just so you know all the doubting is making me even more resolved to keep this one. 
2. Open myself up - be it to new ideas, adventures or people.  I want to become more open to whatever life has in store for me.
3. Release control - it is no secret that I have a little control issue.  Perfect strangers seem to pick up on this about me.  I want to relax a little and trust that life will continue on perfectly well without me in the driver's seat.
4. Floss daily - I hate to admit it, but I get a little lazy when it comes to flossing.  It seems that everything I read these days is hawking the benefits of flossing - for your heart, your immune system, etc.    Even worse, I have genetic predisposition to gingivitis so even more important for me.  
5. Daily stretching - To my surprise as much as everyones, I have become somewhat addicted to working out.  It has become my protected me time.  Everyone knows not to bother me when I am at the gym unless it is an emergency.  However, all this working out (and quite possibly the aging) are making me a little stiff.  This year not only do I want to get into yoga, but I need to start making it a point to improve my flexibility.

2012 - Finally!

I have never been so glad to see the end of a year as this one.  The year 2011 was not my best year, and the frustrating thing is it could have been.  I am healthy, possess great friends and family, a job that I enjoy and allows me to buy really cute shoes, and I live in a city where the sun almost always shines.  Why was this year not better?

I am still struggling with the answer to that question, but with reason or not I found myself ending 2011 feeling a deep discontent.  Mid-life crisis?  Possibly.  Simple realization that life is hard, complicated, and so very far from fair?  More likely.

Regardless, it is time to make some changes and stick to them.  Therefore, I am starting this new year, one filled with endless possibilities with the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.