Sunshine and a slice of sand

Well, it's official. I am moving to the beach. Everything was finalized this morning. In two short weeks, I will be waking up each morning to the view of the sun rising out of the Atlantic. It is a smaller place than I have now, but it does come with the ocean nearby so I think it works out okay. The views from the balconies are actually even better than the ones I have now which is saying something. (Now it would really be saying something if I actually spent anytime sitting on the balconies enjoying the view, but I digress.)

I am excited about the new location, but stressed about the move. Let's be honest - when have I ever had a smooth moving experience? Trying not to jinx myself, but already expecting the worst. Distracting myself by imagining my new "beach" lifestyle where I take long walks along the water's edge, wander around along Ocean drive, sample the fabulous dining along Lincoln Road, or shop along Collins Avenue. I know probably never going to happen, but a girl can dream.

I forgot

Rainy season. When one lives in the Tropics there are trade offs - warm dry winters are great, but must be balanced with the wet season. For South Florida, that is June thru September - a time of the year where it rains every afternoon and sometimes all day for days at a time. We are currently going thru the latter. It has basically been raining here since Friday.

However, I am convinced it is called the wet season not for the rain per se, but for the fact that you always end up wet. Umbrellas are mostly useless here. Rain doesn't fall in a strictly up and down direction - it prefers a more side to side route. I tried a rain coat - I looked like a hot four year old waiting on the bus. Even if I could figure out how to keep my clothes dry and retain my dignity, my shoes are hopeless. I live in a city that is on average 6 feet above sea level. Let's just say drainage is an issue.

Oh well, I'm sure in a few months when I have finally dried out, and am enjoying the beach in December it will all seem worth it. As for now, it just seems damp.

Eyes up here please

Hands up for anyone that recently went to a meeting, looked around the table and actually made eye contact with a single person. Okay. Now hands up for anyone who recently went to a meeting, looked around the table and noticed that every single person was entranced by their smart phone. In my world, a lot more people raised their hand with the latter.

It's not just meetings either. I now find myself carrying on complete conversations with people, and they never look up from their email. I used to have trouble recognizing people without an OR mask, now I struggle recognizing people without their heads being bent over a phone. In the cafeteria, entire tables of people are all glued to their phones and completely ignoring one another.

I get multi-tasking - really I do, but at the end of the day how many emails do you get a day that are REALLY that important. I actually have to occasionally make life and death decisions, and I can assure you that none of those decisions involved an email. There is nothing on my iPhone that can't wait until I finish a meeting, lunch or a conversation.

What is our new obsession with being constantly connected, and how is it not rude to be completely distracted from the person that actually made an effort to speak to you in person? I recently sent an email to the distracted person I was trying to discuss a case with - it read: please look at me.

Shouldn't I be having more fun?

It is said that time flies when you are having fun. I will concede that time is flying, but this is not my idea of fun. I would use adjectives such as exhausting, stressful, overworked, overextended, exasperating, maddening, distressing - well you get the idea. Notably absent on that list - fun. Also notable absent - accomplishments.

If asked, I would tell you that I have been extremely busy the last several weeks - thus the quietness of my blog. My days are one big blur of working, avoiding homelessness and the gym. Even weekends these days are indistinguishable. However, I sometimes feel that I have little to show for it.

Things continue to slowly pick up at work, but I would love to be busier. I was just selected to be in a new advertising campaign for the Sylvester Cancer Center. I was told that I have a good "face for lung cancer". I am trying very hard not to read too much into that statement. Not sure I am comfortable with the whole idea of advertising, and certainly not comfortable with the idea of being on TV or even worse a billboard, but it doesn't appear as I have much choice.

As for the homeless avoiding - progress I think. Although the condo sales market continues to do poorly down here, the rental market is hopping. I am trying to move to South Beach so that I will have the opportunity to drive a little less and walk a little more. I miss walking for a cup of coffee on a quiet Saturday morning (decaf these days of course). I seem to not be alone in this desire. Condos come and go from the rental market in less than 12 hrs, and not cheap. Not kidding!

It looks like I have finally found a place, but will not be comfortable until I have a key in my hand. I had to settle on something furnished, don't even get me started, which means that now I have to put my stuff into storage. At least, I will have great views, a short 4 block walk to the Atlantic, and a guest room. Now if only I take advantage of this new found neighborhood and get out and meet people. Of course that means I would have to spend less time at work, but that's a fight for another day. Never fear, when time is flying this fast, fun has to be just around the corner. Right?

Age before beauty?

It has been one of those weeks. On paper it had potential for being a good week, but in reality the wheels have fallen off. The truly sad thing is that I really don't feel like I have accomplished very much. I think I am going to have to put it in the same category as my "circuit" training sessions - surviving is the accomplishment.

Today however has been the icing on the cake. I was at the hospital until after midnight last evening trying to prevent some well meaning medicine doctors from killing a patient. She had extreme airway issues, and the patient and I seemed to be the only two people who truly appreciated that fact. After many hours at the bedside, and endless hours on the phone talking to radiation oncologist, medical oncologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist and intensivist (all who were tucked into their beds at home), we worked out a plan. Or so I thought.

Today, everyone kept trying to change the plan. As I was explaining to the medical oncologist for what seemed like the hundredth time why it was not safe to biopsy her endobronchial lesion, he had the nerve to tell me to my face, that he would like someone with a little more experience. I quickly explained to him that when it came to the surgical treatment of difficult airways, there wasn't a person in the hospital with more experience than me. So when he said what he really meant was someone older, I almost lost it. In all honesty, you would prefer someone with less experience and less knowledge about the problem just because they happen to have grey hair and wrinkles?

I am probably a little sensitive to the problem because I have had two patients recently request to see one of my "more senior" partners. They reassure me it's not me, they would just feel more comfortable with someone "older." I get wanting to have someone with lots of experience and wisdom, but it is important to remember that those things don't necessarily come with age.

It did make me feel better that ultimately both patients had to come back and see me because neither of my "older" partners perform the procedures that they need. It also made me smile from ear to ear when the medical oncologist was told by my two partners and one of the cardiac surgeons that not only was I right, but when it came to difficulties of the airway, they would defer to the "young" Dr. Baxter as she had the most experience.

Just think how much money I can now save on facial cream and hair color.

Where did it go?

Today is the halfway point of 2010. That's right - this year is half over. Does that seem wrong to anyone else? I checked the calendar twice today and it really is the end of June.

I keep telling people that I meet here at work that I'm the "new" girl, but in reality I have been working for 9 months. I hope this doesn't portent how all my remaining years shall pass. I need them to slow down a bit. At this stage, there is no reason to rush toward the finish line.

i Take forever

I have a love hate relationship with my iPhone. I love it as a "smart" device, but it leaves a lot to be desired as an actual phone. I will admit that I have let it's general usefulness in every way but as a telecommunication device convince me to keep it around. (I figure eventually enough people will complain about the phone issue that they will have to fix it.)

Tonight started out with a perfect example of why I like my iPhone. I found what seems to be a great new running app that I wanted to download. It is from Runner's World, and guarantees to get me ready for any distance for which I want to aim. When I tried to download, it haughtily informed me that I needed a newer version of iPhone software before I could proceed.

Okay - I haven't backed up my phone in a while anyway, so I'll sync it and get the new software all at the same time. Should have known it sounded too good to be true. When I tried to Sync and download the newer version of the software, I was told that I needed a newer version of iTunes before I could download the new i Phone software. Anyone else sensing a pattern?

That was over 45 minutes ago. The iTunes just finished downloading, and now I'm told it will take another 15 minutes to download the new phone software. One would think I was using dial-up. It must take days that route.

I thought technology was supposed to make life easier - not convinced this is better, but it certainly wins for longer.