Okay - today it is official - I am not sure how much longer I can stand being a resident. I have been a resident for MANY years, turns out too many years. When I thought about adding this extra "super" fellow year - I honestly thought piece of cake - I can do anything for 365 more days particularly if it means a fantastic career opportunity at the end.
I may have made a serious error in judgement. It turns out that a body and more importantly a mind can only tolerate so many years of residency. I reached my peak this AM. Unfortunately for me, I stayed at work all day. I may not have a job tomorrow, but I am not all that upset. This AM when Dr Cooper asked me why I didn't know where his first patient's films were located - mind you no one knew about his first patient but him (he added it late last PM after his clinic yesterday) - I smiled, apologized and went to his office and picked them up off his desk. However, this afternoon, when he was berating me about something for which I had no knowledge nor any responsibility - I lost it. I truly had had enough. I am 35 years old and pretty damn good at what I do - therefore, I find that I am no longer willing to take a lot of crap. As all my doctor friends understand, a LOT of crap taking is required to be a "good" resident. It never would have occurred to me 3 years ago to tell an Attending exactly what I think, but now I struggle to stop myself and did not today. I think that is a sign that enough is enough. I need a job.
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