I always list the disadvantages of being a woman in a "man's" world. Today I thought I would focus on my favorite thing about being a woman in this world I inhabit. Low expectations. I am being completely sincere - and I will explain.
I spend most days dressed in scrubs, a hat, no make-up and no jewelry. The only "girly" thing about me - my cute pedicure that no one else can see. Occasionally (lately way less frequently than I should) I "dress up" - by that I mean I actually wear what most people would consider real work clothes. It is usually when I have a meeting or clinic days.
The only thing I have to do to elicit compliments about how nice I look - put on a dress and brush my hair. If I "go the extra mile" and throw in make-up and a pair of heels, the compliments get a little embarrassing. I have spent the entire day accepting compliments and laughing off jokes about my evening plans.
I would love to tell you that I deserve it, but alas, I do own a mirror. I am wearing a simple black/white sheath dress and a pair of 3 inch black heels - Jennifer Aniston I am not. It is simply the benefit of usually looking like crap - the bar seems to be lowered to a level that even I can step over.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
You are joking right?
My second case was cancelled today. Why you might ask - I certainly did. My patient - who is currently admitted to the hospital - could not physically be brought to the operating room. The problem : He is in the oldest tower of the hospital. This particular tower only connects to the main towers of the hospital on the second floor. Still doesn't sound insurmountable? ALL of the elevators in that tower are currently broken.
I sit here more bemused than mad. It is truly so absurd that I can't even mount anger. I am assured that at least one of the elevators should be functioning by morning at which time we will try this again.
I sit here more bemused than mad. It is truly so absurd that I can't even mount anger. I am assured that at least one of the elevators should be functioning by morning at which time we will try this again.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Profiled, Exposed, Analyzed and Jet-lagged
Whew!!! It has been a long week. When I last wrote, I was heading out to LA. It was quite the interesting trip. From a work perspective, the education was amazing. I really feel I learned something that I can apply in my practice to truly benefit my patients. From a life perspective, the education was eye-opening. Let me explain.
It started at the Miami airport on my way out of town. The TSA and I are old friends. I take off my shoes and jacket without being asked. I throw away my water bottle and though I personally think it is ridiculous - abide by the 3-1-1 rule. This time - a new request. I was asked to place ALL of my electronic items in a separate bin. Knowing better than to argue, I started rummaging for anything that had a battery. I am always spouting off about how much I hate technology and computers so surely this isn't going to be that bad. I pull out my Netbook, my iPhone, my iPod, my Nook, my Garmin GPS, and let's not forget my camera. Are you kidding me? I had officially been profiled a geek. The only thing missing was my pocket protector. After this completely demoralizing experience, I was off to Cali-for-ni-a.
Once in LA, we head off to this swanky hotel in Beverly Hills called the SLS. The lobby decor should have been my first clue, but am not sure anything could have prepared me for my room. The hotel must have saved a fortune on paint costs. Every wall in the place was covered by a mirror. Even the TV was in a mirrored wall. Only the ceiling and the windows were spared a reflection of me. We were meeting for dinner that evening, so I decided to jump in the shower and wash off the airport smell. Did I mention that the mirror thing carried over into the bathroom and shower? There was a slate floor with one 12 inch piece of slate going up the side of the wall - the rest ALL mirrors. I have now seen views of myself that no girl should really ever see. I know get why everybody is thin in LA. Who has any appetite after seeing all that?
Dinner and the hospital the next day were good. I met the other Thoracic surgeons there, and talked to a Covidien representative from St. Louis. I was of course the only female, but that part was not surprising. At dinner Wednesday night, I got the "are you married" question. Very standard question - usually I say "No. How about you?". The conversation quickly shifts back to the asker and we carry on without a hitch. This night was different. I got to listen as 5 men (4 of which had only met me the night before) discussed my singledom. They made some valid points, and some hilarious ones. Their conclusion - I have control issues that prevent me from opening up and letting someone else have the ability to hurt me. Scary that they figured it out that quickly.
I had another day in the OR on Thursday and then flew home. I was able to catch an earlier flight, but not sure the red-eye could have been any worse. I simply don't handle time changes very well. My body gets confused and goes into melt-down. I worked on Friday - if you call sitting at my desk with blurry eyes looking at a computer - work. The weekend was not much better. I napped Friday when I first got home and then couldn't go back to sleep till ridiculously late. I spent all weekend trying to get back on a "normal" sleep cycle.
I am now back in the routine of work, but I have a new mission. I must become less predictable, or at the very least - less easy to read. Oh, and time to get rid of a few electronics.
It started at the Miami airport on my way out of town. The TSA and I are old friends. I take off my shoes and jacket without being asked. I throw away my water bottle and though I personally think it is ridiculous - abide by the 3-1-1 rule. This time - a new request. I was asked to place ALL of my electronic items in a separate bin. Knowing better than to argue, I started rummaging for anything that had a battery. I am always spouting off about how much I hate technology and computers so surely this isn't going to be that bad. I pull out my Netbook, my iPhone, my iPod, my Nook, my Garmin GPS, and let's not forget my camera. Are you kidding me? I had officially been profiled a geek. The only thing missing was my pocket protector. After this completely demoralizing experience, I was off to Cali-for-ni-a.
Once in LA, we head off to this swanky hotel in Beverly Hills called the SLS. The lobby decor should have been my first clue, but am not sure anything could have prepared me for my room. The hotel must have saved a fortune on paint costs. Every wall in the place was covered by a mirror. Even the TV was in a mirrored wall. Only the ceiling and the windows were spared a reflection of me. We were meeting for dinner that evening, so I decided to jump in the shower and wash off the airport smell. Did I mention that the mirror thing carried over into the bathroom and shower? There was a slate floor with one 12 inch piece of slate going up the side of the wall - the rest ALL mirrors. I have now seen views of myself that no girl should really ever see. I know get why everybody is thin in LA. Who has any appetite after seeing all that?
Dinner and the hospital the next day were good. I met the other Thoracic surgeons there, and talked to a Covidien representative from St. Louis. I was of course the only female, but that part was not surprising. At dinner Wednesday night, I got the "are you married" question. Very standard question - usually I say "No. How about you?". The conversation quickly shifts back to the asker and we carry on without a hitch. This night was different. I got to listen as 5 men (4 of which had only met me the night before) discussed my singledom. They made some valid points, and some hilarious ones. Their conclusion - I have control issues that prevent me from opening up and letting someone else have the ability to hurt me. Scary that they figured it out that quickly.
I had another day in the OR on Thursday and then flew home. I was able to catch an earlier flight, but not sure the red-eye could have been any worse. I simply don't handle time changes very well. My body gets confused and goes into melt-down. I worked on Friday - if you call sitting at my desk with blurry eyes looking at a computer - work. The weekend was not much better. I napped Friday when I first got home and then couldn't go back to sleep till ridiculously late. I spent all weekend trying to get back on a "normal" sleep cycle.
I am now back in the routine of work, but I have a new mission. I must become less predictable, or at the very least - less easy to read. Oh, and time to get rid of a few electronics.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Heading West
Although not a huge fan of long plane flights, I am really excited about my trip tomorrow. I am flying the six hours to LA tomorrow to attend a Thoracic course in Beverly Hills. It is not the location (although time has been set aside for shopping) or the course (although I am looking forward to it) that excites me. I am simply ecstatic to escape Miami for a little while.
I know it is probably not a good sign that this early in my career here I am this excited to leave, but nonetheless that is the truth. I am sure it is a combination of many things, not least of which was a tough week last week, but a little distance between me and my job at the moment is much desired. Who knows, maybe I will bump into George Clooney, he will fall hopelessly in love and whisk me away to Italy to live happily ever after. Don't take my fantasies - they are all I've got at the moment.
I know it is probably not a good sign that this early in my career here I am this excited to leave, but nonetheless that is the truth. I am sure it is a combination of many things, not least of which was a tough week last week, but a little distance between me and my job at the moment is much desired. Who knows, maybe I will bump into George Clooney, he will fall hopelessly in love and whisk me away to Italy to live happily ever after. Don't take my fantasies - they are all I've got at the moment.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
0-2
I was in the operating room for 16 hours yesterday. Unfortunately, I only performed two cases. I would like to report that at least all ended well. One has already been sent to the ICU, and the other one will most likely be there by morning.
Bad things happen. Why do they always seem to happen in bunches? Would it hurt to spread the badness around a little more?
Bad things happen. Why do they always seem to happen in bunches? Would it hurt to spread the badness around a little more?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Just a random thought
When I was a kid, my dad's best friend was (and still is) a mechanic. His daughters were about our age and we spent tons of time hanging out with them. He is this big burly guy who loved to toss us around as kids, and he and my dad could always be counted on for a game of ball in the yard.
Often times, he would drop by after work on his way home to talk to my dad about something. During those visits, I remember thinking in the bratty way of 6 year old little girls, that although he was a lot of fun, I never wanted a job where I had to wear a uniform with my name on it or where my hands got so dirty.
This morning as I pulled on my white coat over my scrubs I happened to look down. . . right there over my pocket - my name. We won't even talk about what I get on my hands sometimes.
Often times, he would drop by after work on his way home to talk to my dad about something. During those visits, I remember thinking in the bratty way of 6 year old little girls, that although he was a lot of fun, I never wanted a job where I had to wear a uniform with my name on it or where my hands got so dirty.
This morning as I pulled on my white coat over my scrubs I happened to look down. . . right there over my pocket - my name. We won't even talk about what I get on my hands sometimes.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Cravings
Why do I only find myself wanting something once it is no longer available to me? What does it say about my personality that the minute I can't have it - I convince myself I can't live without it? Nothing good I am sure.
To what do I speak? Meat. I am doing a little veggie experiment. For the next four weeks, I have sworn off beef, chicken, pork and fish. Why? Turns out, I don't actually eat very much meat - at least the quality stuff that most would consider meat. Animals consumed in my diet come from the freezer or thinly sliced from the deli counter. It seemed logical that since I was already half way there - to attempt to go all the way.
I am also hoping to spice things up a bit. My diet has become incredibly boring. I have about 5 things that through some combination supply me with 3 "square" meals a day. That can't be healthy! Before last night, I honestly don't remember the last time I tried out a new recipe.
I keep reading all these stories about the health and environmental benefits of vegetarianism. Technically vegan is supposedly the best, but I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of giving up dairy. Perhaps I am just not meant to lose those last 10 pounds, and will just have to take the train to work. At least this is a starting point. All journeys begin with the first step. My road is just currently cluttered with images of cheeseburgers and fried chicken.
To what do I speak? Meat. I am doing a little veggie experiment. For the next four weeks, I have sworn off beef, chicken, pork and fish. Why? Turns out, I don't actually eat very much meat - at least the quality stuff that most would consider meat. Animals consumed in my diet come from the freezer or thinly sliced from the deli counter. It seemed logical that since I was already half way there - to attempt to go all the way.
I am also hoping to spice things up a bit. My diet has become incredibly boring. I have about 5 things that through some combination supply me with 3 "square" meals a day. That can't be healthy! Before last night, I honestly don't remember the last time I tried out a new recipe.
I keep reading all these stories about the health and environmental benefits of vegetarianism. Technically vegan is supposedly the best, but I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of giving up dairy. Perhaps I am just not meant to lose those last 10 pounds, and will just have to take the train to work. At least this is a starting point. All journeys begin with the first step. My road is just currently cluttered with images of cheeseburgers and fried chicken.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
No Judging!
Okay - I am about to make a confession that will have you scratching your head or even chuckling in disbelief. I only ask that before you completely write me off as crazy, pathetic or just plain sad that you have to remember that I have never claimed to be normal.
My confession - I spent an entire hour at the grocery store today and had a blast. Not amusement park fun, but a truly enjoyable time. I had forgotten how much I really enjoy Whole Foods. I shopped there almost exclusively in Nashville, but in Philly the Trader Joe's was more convenient and won out most of the time. Here there is a Publix on every corner. I have nothing against Publix, but there is nothing quite like the Whole Foods experience.
Whole Foods makes me wish I was a Foodie. I wander around, explore, and dream of fantastic feats of gastronomic prowess. Only at Whole Foods do vegetables sound so exciting, fruit looks so sexy, and spices so exotic. Now I have no idea what one does with Kabocha squash or nori, but don't you want to find out? They even turn packaging into pieces of art. Have you walked down the cooking oil aisle recently? The olive oil containers alone could decorate a shelf in a museum.
I know you are all thinking that I have finally fallen off the precipice, and need to seek professional help, but as I sit here typing the most amazing smells are arising from my kitchen. Most of the ingredients I can even pronounce.
My confession - I spent an entire hour at the grocery store today and had a blast. Not amusement park fun, but a truly enjoyable time. I had forgotten how much I really enjoy Whole Foods. I shopped there almost exclusively in Nashville, but in Philly the Trader Joe's was more convenient and won out most of the time. Here there is a Publix on every corner. I have nothing against Publix, but there is nothing quite like the Whole Foods experience.
Whole Foods makes me wish I was a Foodie. I wander around, explore, and dream of fantastic feats of gastronomic prowess. Only at Whole Foods do vegetables sound so exciting, fruit looks so sexy, and spices so exotic. Now I have no idea what one does with Kabocha squash or nori, but don't you want to find out? They even turn packaging into pieces of art. Have you walked down the cooking oil aisle recently? The olive oil containers alone could decorate a shelf in a museum.
I know you are all thinking that I have finally fallen off the precipice, and need to seek professional help, but as I sit here typing the most amazing smells are arising from my kitchen. Most of the ingredients I can even pronounce.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Platitudes and other dangers
Be wary of cliches. This is my latest lesson learned. Cliche is defined as a trite expression whose effectiveness has been lost due to overuse. Such things as "the grass is always greener", "it is what it is", and the one that has bit me recently "be careful what you ask for".
I have been whining recently about wanting to be busier. Let us just say that I have learned my lesson these last two weeks. I don't know if I have ever been this tired. I thought last week was bad with four emergency cases and operating late. This week comes in a close second. My patient roster has exploded, and I have been operating like a mad woman. So why am I complaining? I'm not really, it is just that I am desperately in need of a nap. At least "there is an end in sight", I have the weekend off.
"Can't I have my cake, and eat it too?" Oh well, "this too shall pass."
I have been whining recently about wanting to be busier. Let us just say that I have learned my lesson these last two weeks. I don't know if I have ever been this tired. I thought last week was bad with four emergency cases and operating late. This week comes in a close second. My patient roster has exploded, and I have been operating like a mad woman. So why am I complaining? I'm not really, it is just that I am desperately in need of a nap. At least "there is an end in sight", I have the weekend off.
"Can't I have my cake, and eat it too?" Oh well, "this too shall pass."
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