What's so great about NORMAL?

This is the question my mom asked me yesterday. I have spent a lot of time whining to her recently about wanting a normal life. My mom has this great ability to listen to me complain about my "problems", be a little understanding, and then tell me to get over it. This is probably how I survived my surgical training. Whenever I started my woe is me act, she would listen for a little bit, and then remind me that as my friend Bassam likes to say - I checked the box. It may sound somewhat harsh to some of you, but is the perfect way to recenter my reality. [I like to tell my mom that she is lucky I turned out so well, but I become more aware each day how hard she worked to achieve said result.]

My mom's comment made me think - as it was intended to do. When I went to my ten year high school reunion several years back, I was nervous about the fact that I was still in "school" while everyone else had normal lives. I walked out of the reunion thankful that my life was exactly as it was - so many of theirs sounded so boring and foreign to me. I had so little in common with them - I skipped my 15th. Surely that is not what I have been whining about?

Therefore, how do I define normal? I want simple things out of life. I would like to sleep till 5 am. I would like to only be at the hospital for a couple of hours on the weekends. I would love to make plans with my friends and actually be able to keep them. I would like to have dinner before 7 pm occasionally. I would like to read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with medicine and not feel guilty about it. I would like to have a desk completely free of papers to write and even more articles to read. I would like to give good news to patients at least once a week. I want to have complete control over my patients and my schedule.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that my definition of normal - and ultimately what I want in life is so far from what most people consider normal they have different area codes. I guarantee you each of my friends would come up with completely different lists - both from mine and from each others. This is perhaps the ultimate lesson for me. My normal is only normal because it is what is safe and predictable for me. I should neither covet nor judge others normal. We all find our comfort zone in life. It is simply time for me to move into mine.