My entire life, I have been told that I was smart. My parents, teachers, professors, attendings and friends all propagated this idea. It started very early when I was told that I was too smart to go to kindergarten. (My mom sent me anyway - supposedly for "socialization", but I think it was mainly to get rid of me during the day.) In first grade I was tagged as "advanced", and by second grade I was in a "Challenge" program. My biology advisor at Emory would argue that I was wasting my intelligence taking all those pesky liberal arts classes (ironically this professor worked at my liberal arts university). Deep down inside I knew it didn't feel "right", but can everyone be wrong? The answer - YES!
Why am I now certain that I am not very bright? Well, I could point out that I still don't have a job after 13 years of primary school, 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, and 10 years of post graduate training. However, in my head I am still blaming that on the economy so we won't go there. My stupidity involves having to learn the same lessons over and over again. When will it sink into my head that the fastest way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't? Likewise the best way to get me to crave something is to tell myself that I can't have it.
Albert Einstein once said: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Can I have my straight jacket in green? Obviously I am struggling with my diet again. I recognize that part of my frustration with my diet is probably related to my job stresses, but part of my diet frustration is my stupidity. When will it occur to me that regardless of how much I work out, if I eat like the boys I work with - I will weigh as much as the boys?
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