Yet another frustrating trip to work this morning, it may now be mid October before my credentials come through. For me, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was furious, frustrated, confused, and in complete despair. It is starting to seem as if I am chasing a carrot on a stick. Every time I almost have it, it is moved slightly out of my reach.
I came home and spent the entire day wallowing in self pity. I lamented how unfair life is for me. I wailed about spending so much of my life trying to achieve something only to have a ridiculous University holding my dream hostage. All in all, I have let this entire experience "steal my joy" - to quote my friend Kris.
Well, enough is enough. As my mother has told me on more than one occasion: "life is not fair, and the sooner I get over thinking it is - the happier I will be." So this real life thing isn't all that I ever hoped. Sitting around drowning my feelings in chocolate is certainly not contributing much. I am no longer going to allow these people to steal my joy. I am in a new city full of possibility.
Starting now, I will make the most of this life experience. This is a perfect time to "get to know" my new city, study for my upcoming boards, exercise, and starting learning to be a "real" person. I am going to need help. You guys have to help keep me honest. When I start veering into self-pity, give me a hard shove back in the right direction. People and situations only have power over us if we concede it. I concede no more.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Certifiable
I have always walked a fine line between quirky and insane. I have now officially fallen into insanity. My qualifying event? Fall. . . the season not the verb.
Everyone has kindly listened to me complain for 5 of the last 9 months about how much I hated cold weather. I kept a jacket out from the movers, and used it. IT WAS THE END OF JUNE!! Since my delicate nature seems to necessitate warmer climates, one would think that Miami would be perfect for me. It is well into September, and we still haven't had a day that didn't reach the mid 90's. I am told to expect a couple of "cold" days with highs in the mid 60's come January.
So what's my problem? Television. (I have probably watched more television in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years. ) I am one of those strange people that actually watch the commercials. It is not that I particularly like commercials, but I hate missing a part of the show. I am not good at timing when to flip back. Over the past week, commercials (even here) have gone from summer savings to fall fashions. It has made me very nostalgic for Fall.
Is it the idea of shopping for a new season? Is it the sight of leaves changing? Is it the first bite of winter in the air? Is it the smell of cinnamon and pumpkins? I am not sure, but I have to find a way to snap out of it. I am fairly certain that fall clothes won't fit into my closet, palm trees don't change colors, 80 degrees will be my "bite" of winter, and cinnamon is not a Latin spice. I am struggling to like this city. I don't need something else to hold against it. HELP!
Everyone has kindly listened to me complain for 5 of the last 9 months about how much I hated cold weather. I kept a jacket out from the movers, and used it. IT WAS THE END OF JUNE!! Since my delicate nature seems to necessitate warmer climates, one would think that Miami would be perfect for me. It is well into September, and we still haven't had a day that didn't reach the mid 90's. I am told to expect a couple of "cold" days with highs in the mid 60's come January.
So what's my problem? Television. (I have probably watched more television in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years. ) I am one of those strange people that actually watch the commercials. It is not that I particularly like commercials, but I hate missing a part of the show. I am not good at timing when to flip back. Over the past week, commercials (even here) have gone from summer savings to fall fashions. It has made me very nostalgic for Fall.
Is it the idea of shopping for a new season? Is it the sight of leaves changing? Is it the first bite of winter in the air? Is it the smell of cinnamon and pumpkins? I am not sure, but I have to find a way to snap out of it. I am fairly certain that fall clothes won't fit into my closet, palm trees don't change colors, 80 degrees will be my "bite" of winter, and cinnamon is not a Latin spice. I am struggling to like this city. I don't need something else to hold against it. HELP!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
What have I done?
I know it is wrong to complain about a city that I am just getting to know. I also recognize that since I haven't started to work yet I am guaranteed to like the city less. For me it takes being out and interacting with my community (i.e. the hospital) to really get to know a place.
Therefore, I have tried to be very careful about making judgements yet. I have smiled and vowed to learn Spanish. I have gritted my teeth and tried to adapt to a more laissez-faire approach to work. However, tonight crossed the line. I decided this afternoon that Indian or Thai would be really good for dinner. I sat down at my trusty computer and set out to find the appropriate place. Since I am still in sweats (despite the fact that I never actually made it to the gym), I wanted delivery.
You can not get Thai, Indian, Italian or Chinese delivered in this town. No - I am not exaggerating. What city doesn't have bad delivery Chinese? I called everybody. You can get Cuban, Cuban and oh yea Cuban. That's it. There are other ethnic restaurants, but they don't deliver. Where am I????
Therefore, I have tried to be very careful about making judgements yet. I have smiled and vowed to learn Spanish. I have gritted my teeth and tried to adapt to a more laissez-faire approach to work. However, tonight crossed the line. I decided this afternoon that Indian or Thai would be really good for dinner. I sat down at my trusty computer and set out to find the appropriate place. Since I am still in sweats (despite the fact that I never actually made it to the gym), I wanted delivery.
You can not get Thai, Indian, Italian or Chinese delivered in this town. No - I am not exaggerating. What city doesn't have bad delivery Chinese? I called everybody. You can get Cuban, Cuban and oh yea Cuban. That's it. There are other ethnic restaurants, but they don't deliver. Where am I????
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Coincidence?
I have reached the worst part of unpacking. You know the part where it occurs to you that you have way more crap than space to store said crap. The part where you get creative and decide that the 1/2 bath is a great place to store boots?
As I was attempting to put one more skirt into my overstuffed closet, I turn on the television for a break. What you might ask is on? An A&E special about Hoarders. Yes, they were going into the homes of people who were compulsive shoppers and showing the massive amounts of things in their homes. These people were living in the most deplorable conditions. As I watched horrified, I looked around my living room. Everywhere I looked I saw signs of conspicuous consumption.
I immediately got up and started editing my closet. I am giving away two large boxes of clothes, and yet my closet is still full. What is wrong with me???? Everyone is dying to see my new apartment - it looks like they will only have to turn on A&E.
As I was attempting to put one more skirt into my overstuffed closet, I turn on the television for a break. What you might ask is on? An A&E special about Hoarders. Yes, they were going into the homes of people who were compulsive shoppers and showing the massive amounts of things in their homes. These people were living in the most deplorable conditions. As I watched horrified, I looked around my living room. Everywhere I looked I saw signs of conspicuous consumption.
I immediately got up and started editing my closet. I am giving away two large boxes of clothes, and yet my closet is still full. What is wrong with me???? Everyone is dying to see my new apartment - it looks like they will only have to turn on A&E.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Penis Envy???
You know the old tale that men who drive sport cars are lacking in a certain area? Well, let's hope that is not true or else I am going to have a very sad dating life here in Miami. As most of you know, I am not much of a car person - or at least I wasn't. I am quickly becoming one.
It all started as I went to my car the other day. Walking out of my condo building I walked past a beautiful white car. Upon closer inspection I realized it was an Aston Martin (the James Bond car). Sitting in the parking space next to it is a baby blue Lamborghini. I kid you not. As one continues on to my car, you pass three Porsches (two boxsters and a carrera), numerous BMWs and AMG Mercedes, a Ferrari, two Range Rovers and finally a black Maserati in the parking space next to mine. I have the only American car in the place.
At first I thought that maybe I was just in the wrong building, but no these cars are everywhere. You can not drive down the road without seeing at least a dozen cars that cost more than I will make this year (as a "real" surgeon). I even saw a Porsche SUV - now why on earth does one need a Porsche SUV. I must admit that it makes driving around really fun, but really makes me despair regarding the "boys" in this town.
It all started as I went to my car the other day. Walking out of my condo building I walked past a beautiful white car. Upon closer inspection I realized it was an Aston Martin (the James Bond car). Sitting in the parking space next to it is a baby blue Lamborghini. I kid you not. As one continues on to my car, you pass three Porsches (two boxsters and a carrera), numerous BMWs and AMG Mercedes, a Ferrari, two Range Rovers and finally a black Maserati in the parking space next to mine. I have the only American car in the place.
At first I thought that maybe I was just in the wrong building, but no these cars are everywhere. You can not drive down the road without seeing at least a dozen cars that cost more than I will make this year (as a "real" surgeon). I even saw a Porsche SUV - now why on earth does one need a Porsche SUV. I must admit that it makes driving around really fun, but really makes me despair regarding the "boys" in this town.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Something new everyday?
"They" say that you learn something new everyday. I have never really bought into that one. Several days go past where I sail through life blissfully unlearned. In the last couple of days, I have been "catching" up on those wasted opportunities. I have done nothing but learn new lessons.
Lesson One - - Although moving companies are not on my favorites list, I am developing a soft spot for moving men. I blogged earlier about the four burly Philly men who packed up my unmentionables. They were all incredibly nice and seemed to enjoy having a good time. Yesterday, four Latino men delivered my unmentionables. They have a job that I don't envy, but were super polite and went out of their way to welcome me to Miami.
Lesson Two - Great Views have huge advantages. I know this one seems obvious, but the advantages weren't quite what I was expecting. I realized it would be relaxing for me to walk outside and gaze at the water. I was unaware of how much everyone else would enjoy the view. Every workman that has been to my place the last week has exclaimed over the view. I invited them all to go out and take a look. While they are gazing around at the city in which they live, they offer great information. I now know locations for supposedly good restaurants, shopping, swimming, sunning, and hooking.
Lesson Three - Granite counter tops have no bounce. This is my first experience with granite counter tops (butcher block is plenty good enough for my mom who hates to cook). I love the idea of them - I probably wouldn't have gone with such a dark shade of black with matching tall back splash. Although I am learning that one must be more gentle that usual when placing things on the counter top. I have lost one platter and two glasses so far to this lesson. (Limestone floors also very unforgiving and COLD.)
Lesson Four - I have a serious shopping problem. Now this one is an oldie but a goodie. I am not sure why I can never get this lesson to stick. Every time I move, and try to cram all of my stuff into whatever place I am currently residing my problem is glaringly obvious. I always swear that I am going to stop shopping - usually lasts a month - and then I am right back to my old ways.
Lesson Five - Miami condos do not have coat closets. While this may seem like a logical choice to those who have always lived in Miami, it is ridiculous for the rest of us. I recognize that I have way too many coats for a girl that has spent most of her life in the South, but all I am asking for is a little corner somewhere to put them. Do people not have coats at all down here? Surely they didn't mean for me to put them in my jam packed walk-in closet? --- I refer them to lesson four.
Back to unpacking.
Lesson One - - Although moving companies are not on my favorites list, I am developing a soft spot for moving men. I blogged earlier about the four burly Philly men who packed up my unmentionables. They were all incredibly nice and seemed to enjoy having a good time. Yesterday, four Latino men delivered my unmentionables. They have a job that I don't envy, but were super polite and went out of their way to welcome me to Miami.
Lesson Two - Great Views have huge advantages. I know this one seems obvious, but the advantages weren't quite what I was expecting. I realized it would be relaxing for me to walk outside and gaze at the water. I was unaware of how much everyone else would enjoy the view. Every workman that has been to my place the last week has exclaimed over the view. I invited them all to go out and take a look. While they are gazing around at the city in which they live, they offer great information. I now know locations for supposedly good restaurants, shopping, swimming, sunning, and hooking.
Lesson Three - Granite counter tops have no bounce. This is my first experience with granite counter tops (butcher block is plenty good enough for my mom who hates to cook). I love the idea of them - I probably wouldn't have gone with such a dark shade of black with matching tall back splash. Although I am learning that one must be more gentle that usual when placing things on the counter top. I have lost one platter and two glasses so far to this lesson. (Limestone floors also very unforgiving and COLD.)
Lesson Four - I have a serious shopping problem. Now this one is an oldie but a goodie. I am not sure why I can never get this lesson to stick. Every time I move, and try to cram all of my stuff into whatever place I am currently residing my problem is glaringly obvious. I always swear that I am going to stop shopping - usually lasts a month - and then I am right back to my old ways.
Lesson Five - Miami condos do not have coat closets. While this may seem like a logical choice to those who have always lived in Miami, it is ridiculous for the rest of us. I recognize that I have way too many coats for a girl that has spent most of her life in the South, but all I am asking for is a little corner somewhere to put them. Do people not have coats at all down here? Surely they didn't mean for me to put them in my jam packed walk-in closet? --- I refer them to lesson four.
Back to unpacking.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
More Vacation !?@#!
I know one should never complain about time off, but in all honesty - I am so OVER it. I want to work!!!! Don't get me wrong, it has been great. Two months of relative rest and relaxation after 10 years of surgical training is exactly what the doctor ordered. However, it is now time for the doctor to go back to work. I am just not meant for the idle life.
I have been bored for about 6 weeks now, but trying to stick it out because it seemed impolite to complain. I know lots of people who would have killed for eight weeks of nothingness. Turns out, I am not one of those people. All is well and good for the first little bit, and then one runs out of nothingness to do. I mean a girl can only sleep and read so much, and don't even get me started on daytime television.
So why am I still on vacation? Licensure. I honestly don't understand how you hear stories about people practicing without the appropriate credentials. I applied for my Florida license in June. I was obsessively (shocking I know) compulsive about getting my paperwork in to the board in a timely manner, and still I did not get my license until today.
The good news . . . I got my Florida license today. The bad news . . . now I still have to get credentialed at the two hospitals. I haven't been able to turn in my credentialing paperwork until I had a license. All in all it seems that I am at least looking at another 2-4 weeks of "vacation". I am not sure I can handle it - I REALLY NEED A LIFE AGAIN.
I have been bored for about 6 weeks now, but trying to stick it out because it seemed impolite to complain. I know lots of people who would have killed for eight weeks of nothingness. Turns out, I am not one of those people. All is well and good for the first little bit, and then one runs out of nothingness to do. I mean a girl can only sleep and read so much, and don't even get me started on daytime television.
So why am I still on vacation? Licensure. I honestly don't understand how you hear stories about people practicing without the appropriate credentials. I applied for my Florida license in June. I was obsessively (shocking I know) compulsive about getting my paperwork in to the board in a timely manner, and still I did not get my license until today.
The good news . . . I got my Florida license today. The bad news . . . now I still have to get credentialed at the two hospitals. I haven't been able to turn in my credentialing paperwork until I had a license. All in all it seems that I am at least looking at another 2-4 weeks of "vacation". I am not sure I can handle it - I REALLY NEED A LIFE AGAIN.
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