Pity Party

I am currently throwing myself an amazing pity party. I have some serious A list guests - pity, loneliness, self-doubt, loathing, and despair. Depression RSVP'ed, but you know how he likes to make an entrance. I would invite you, but quite frankly I like you all too much to drag you to this one. I strongly encourage you to actually skip the rest of this blog and perhaps check in tomorrow when I hopefully will have found a ray of hope.

The most ironic part of all is what this may actually mean. I spend a lot of time preaching to my friends about cosmic justice. I had always believed (and guess still do) that you get back out of life the same Karma that you put in to it. Whenever I perceived injustice, I always mollified myself by saying that the person would get what they deserved in the end. Based on my Karma payment, I have put in some serious bad vibes. Where did I go so wrong?

I am obviously still upset about not getting the LR job, and my travel misadventures didn't help. I guess only Kris and my mom know about those. I was supposed to fly to Syracuse for my last job opportunity yesterday. (Despite an initial promising phone call, I haven't heard back from Miami so I take it they are also not interested.) Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and my flight got cancelled. I spent 10 hours at the airport trying to get on a different flight to anywhere close, but finally gave up and came home. I went back early this morning, but despite four trips to the airport total and at least 10 gate changes, I never actually left the city. Now I have to reschedule, and get to spend the interim in my current state.

I have given up a lot to get where I am - my twenties for starters, and most of my thirties. Now I am staring my 36th birthday in the eye, single in a city where I am close to no one, and can't even find a job. Excuse me, I should get back to my guests. Talk to you soon.